twitmericks

Nirvana the band’s being sued/
By one Spencer Elden, the dude/
Who as a wee tot/
Appeared in the shot/
On Nevermind’s cover, while nude.///

https://t.co/FHcaAq2xqo

A council employee named Jo/
Established how far he could go/
By sticking to buses,/
Which may have its plusses,/
But can be a little bit slow.///

https://t.co/jmTnjwjGCV

Parisienne Josephine Baker,/
A fabulous mover and shaker,/
Is bringing some jazz/
And razzamatazz/
Where eminent French meet their maker.///

https://t.co/NQ1TEr0HJo

A parrot who took a vacation/
And wound up in Waterloo Station/
Is now heard to yap/
“Keep left”, “Mind the gap”/
And tell you your train’s destination.///

https://t.co/40JGz6lR3x

The UK consumer is stricken/
By news that’ll make pulses quicken,/
For shit just got real -/
That great Brexit deal/
Caused Nando’s to run out of chicken.///

https://t.co/CDnxh7Egdl

The Afghan state’s sudden defeat/
Left Western pols feeling the heat,/
But Raab’s in the clear/
For he wasn’t near,/
But on a sun-lounger in Crete./

https://t.co/qC1pB5ICGD

A council constructed a mound/
That utterly failed to astound./
Its deputy chief/
Has now come to grief/
For spaffing six million pound.///

https://t.co/33Yar6Rryf

A hermit who missed the first wave/
Perceives now that Covid is grave/
And backs vaccination,/
Though self-isolation/
Has long been his life in his cave.///

https://t.co/siv2pKBOAM

A man who made calls on repeat
To health lines, employing deceit
And wasting their time,
Explained that his crime
Was down to a fetish for feet.

https://t.co/EVGyt9hkEK

The male tuatara’s neat trick/
Is sperm that’s incredibly quick/
When called on to swim,/
A bonus for him/
In view of his lack of a dick.///

https://t.co/l7Luvukf4H