The Chancellor and the PM/
Said quarantine wasn’t for them,/
Till public reaction/
Provoked a retraction,/
Another comms policy gem.///

https://t.co/SljWqQCdmI

A news channel new to TV/
Declared itself home of the free/
With space for dissenters,/
But cancels presenters/
For brazenly taking the knee.///

https://t.co/z61sIwDBe1

A football supporter so dumb/
He stuck a lit flare up his bum/
And watched his arse smoke/
Said cider and coke/
Had rendered his buttocks quite numb.//

https://t.co/kwMaadfHAX

Old Boris, who newly deplores/
Race hate, called the networks indoors/
And, shifting the blame,/
Declared: “Up your game!”/
To which the reply came “Up yours!”///

https://t.co/jSTOcM2J8Y

Old Branson was ever so slick/
In getting it up double-quick,/
And winning the race/
Of rich guys in space/
For who is the swingingest Dick.///

https://t.co/KTv2ehTPCH

Although England lost the last game,/
And after the hype and the blame/
It’s not coming home/
But going to Rome,/
The team should feel proud all the same.

A public house closure occurred/
For reasons you may find absurd:/
A badly blocked loo,/
Apparently due/
To one quite unflushable turd.///

https://t.co/EyozNGZlst

The French have got into a tizz/
At Russia for saying their fizz/
Can’t count as champagne;/
A boycott campaign/
No go though, because it fucks biz.///

https://t.co/dxK4Sd2aUt

An Austrian fellow in Graz/
Was just letting off a few faz/
While sat on the loo,/
When next thing he knew,/
A snake bit his sensitive paz!///

https://t.co/ppiScykCma

Two unpublished poems of Lear’s/
Emerged after quite a few years,/
A student at Nottingham/
Happily spotting ’em/
In a collection – three cheers!///

https://t.co/3TBskuKJsc