twitmericks

Dom Cummings, that vengeful old chap,/
Showed messages sent on WhatsApp/
By Johnson, no less,/
That plainly express/
The view that Matt Hancock is crap.///

https://t.co/6BoKQXDZax

Ronaldo made clear what he thinks/
Of sponsors with sugary drinks,/
Suggesting we oughta/
Just drink bottled water/
And not Coca-cola, which stinks.///

https://t.co/Oz22awlKPw

A fisherman, 56, male,/
Was swallowed alive by a whale./
Leviathan spewed,/
Ejecting the dude,/
Who therefore can tell us his tale.///

https://t.co/9JFNvcdKv5

Rich leaders who met in St Ives,/
Along with their husbands and wives,/
Declared: “Just as soon/
As we’re all immune,/
We’ll help other countries save lives”.///

In Washington state they’ve agreed,/
To make vaccination succeed,/
The Cannabis Board/
Will give a reward:/
One joint of high-quality weed.///

https://t.co/LBLkHafW0a

Foot history experts peruse/
Old skeletons, searching for clues,/
And, knowing their onions,/
Say what gave folks bunions/
Was wearing those pointy-toed shoes.///

https://t.co/04tRN1Bzdf

“This deal, though we backed it at first”,/
Cried Johnson, “Must now be reversed”,/
And drifted still more/
Towards sausage war,/
With Europe left fearing the Wurst.///

https://t.co/BPTfLZIwuE

The cloud network company Fastly/
Hosts internet services vastly,/
So when it goes wrong,/
Though not for that long,/
The ripple effect is quite ghastly.///

https://t.co/UcQ5U2GJ1t

A sex-starved Siberian worm,/
Whose drought, so researchers affirm ,/
Lasts thousands of years,/
Can still, it appears,/
Make up for lost action, long-term.///

https://t.co/JFVLepMQbd

A rocket sent squid into space/
To see how they deal with the place,/
But though they are trapped,/
The squid could adapt,/
Supplanting our own human race.///

https://t.co/KNSlGk2vjw