twitmericks

There was an old fellow named Dave/
Who lobbied pal Rishi to save/
A bank from collapse,/
Suggesting perhaps/
The rules were a thing one might waive./

https://t.co/IVEqRqwE8i

The Horniman found a crustacean/
It thinks hitched a lift to this nation/
On rocks long ago,/
And went on to show/
Impressively fast procreation./

https://t.co/JfGjz8mRbd

The new cryptocurrency mart,/
Non-fungible tokens for art,/
Led one canny vendor/
To offer for tender/
A digital stake in a fart./

https://t.co/6tDXiODbY1

The restaurant said it’s a shame/
Some customers managed to game/
Our sushi promotion/
But we have a notion/
It’s fishily common, this name./

https://t.co/xDyDCBSqeu

There was an Australian bird/
Who copied the music he heard/
And lost his own song,/
So courting went wrong/
And not enough mating occurred.//

https://t.co/QMtarS0CJy

A walrus with places to go/
Abandoned the ice and the snow/
And set off for Kerry,/
But lacking a ferry/
He just had to go with the floe./

https://t.co/Q3LrjTgX5r

As officers roughly manhandle/
A woman out laying a candle/
Or placing some flowers,/
Increased police powers/
Foreshadow repeats of this scandal./

https://t.co/r48PijYQ36

A prince who is not very hairy,/
When caught by reporters, unwary,/
Said he and his kin/
Aren’t fussed about skin/
(But then, recollections may vary)./

Piers Morgan, a breakfast show anchor,/
Who laid into Meghan with ranchor/
And then lost his shit/
Has now had to quit,/
The petulant, overpaid wanchor./

https://t.co/t3QjW25HZ6

There was an American Duchess
Who, freed from the monarchy’s clutches,
Charged Buckingham Palace
With out-and-out malice,
Complete with a few racist touches.

https://t.co/rSo6UMjIZ9