twitmericks

The dating apps Tinder and Bumble/

Are helping the FBI rumble/

Trump’s Capitol stormers/

As flirting informers/

Snare Proud Boys in search of a fumble./

Though pleasures in lockdown are scanty,
And much social media’s ranty,
Worse things, it may be,
Still happen at sea,
So cast off your cares with a shanty.

https://t.co/vjB0CZmoLo

A chap in a bit of a bind/

Asked staff at a landfill to find/

The hard drive he trashed/

With bitcoins uncashed -/

They’re waiting, he says, to be mined./

An orange-faced man of Palm Beach/

Who caused a security breach/

To try to redeem /

His tangerine dream /

Instead put the peach in impeach./

It’s not that he frequently falls,/

Or pulls up when leaving the stalls,//

What’s making this horse/

So slow on the course/

Is just his extremely large balls.///

A firm of Conservative chums/
Was rumbled by furious mums/
For spending five quid/
On food for each kid/
While trousering much larger sums./

https://t.co/LqROVvwqdK

The people are starting to twig
The impact from Brexit is big
And getting immenser
For now Marks and Spencer
Must pay to export Percy Pig.

https://t.co/7PSgRZJHlx

“I’m shocked”, declared Trump, “through and through,
At what we have witnessed. Who knew
The mob that I summoned
Would be quite so dumb and
Do just what I told them to do?”

https://t.co/7dTWiKatK2

Some argue it doesn’t belong
On children’s TV, but is wrong
And inopportune
To show a cartoon
On Penis-man’s very long schlong.

https://t.co/VB4ts88QjY

While Trumpers pursued insurrection,
The people confirmed their rejection
Of all he promotes
By using their votes
For Warnock and Ossoff’s election.

https://t.co/pbZ0X0ZQUZ