twitmericks

Ex-minister Jacob Rees-Mogg/
Left seasoned observers agogg/
By casually noting/
That IDs for voting/
Were meant to make Tories top dogg.///

In Westminster just around noon,/
On top of the great Stone of Scone,/
Celebs stood around/
As Chazzer got crowned/
And drizzled with oil from a spoon.///

There once was an anchor named Tucker
Who spun to help Trump, his old mucker,
But lawsuits ensued
So, tired of the dude,
Fox finally fired the sucker.

A man who was not a nice boss/
Resigned in a manner most cross:/
For victims, the bully/
Made clear that he fully/
Did not give a hint of a toss.///

bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politi…

Old bronze age Menorcans in caves
Had mass ceremonial raves
And got off their faces,
According to traces
Of drugs found in hairs from their graves.

Sacked Principal Hope’s misdemeanours
Were showing the kids Birth of Venus
And other great works,
Thus triggering jerks
Offended by David’s li’l penis.

The Government turned its attention
To those with a million-pound pension,
Instead of a hike
For workers on strike
Whose money is too tight to mention.

A courtroom in Canada heard
It was, so the Justice averred,
A God-given right,
Although impolite,
To flip pesky neighbours the bird.

With Gary off Match of the Day
Suspended for having his say,
His Tory-whipped bosses
Must now count their losses,
Their schedule in rank disarray.

“Don’t moan about salads and fruits:
This government proudly salutes
A veg we can cherish,
As foreign foods perish
Let Britain go back to its roots“.