Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013). http://twitmericks.com/book-news/

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Force de Crap

The Met went to terrible pains/
To infiltrate justice campaigns/
But might police time/
Spent tackling crime/
Result in more tangible gains?
///

http://blogs.channel4.com/simon-israel-home-affairs/metropolitan-police-spied-families-campaigning/742

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Bishop’s Move

The church that they call #CofE/
Has voted at last to agree/
Episcopal folks/
Don’t have to be blokes/
You can have a she in a see.
///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-28300618

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At A Sloss

A Baroness named Butler-Sloss/
Resigned as inquiry boss/
Announcing “So long,/
I’ve done nothing wrong,/
It’s just the way things came across”.
///

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/jul/14/lady-butler-sloss-stands-down-child-abuse-inquiry

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Meister Stroke

When Germany play Argentina/
Their finishing proves to be keener/
As Mario Götze/
Nips in and converts a/
Fine cross in the Rio arena.
///
https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/488443969811267584

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/world-cup-2014-its-carnival-time-for-germany-in-rio-9603812.html

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Adios, Amigos

Farewell to the band the Ramones/
Of wonderful ear-splitting tones/
To Joey and Johnny/
& Dee Dee, now Tommy/
Who sadly did not make old bones.
///

http://www.theguardian.com/music/musicblog/2014/jul/12/ramones-tommy-ramone-dead-sound-in-my-head

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See No Evil

A senior judge, Butler-Sloss/
On hearing a C of E boss/
Was being accused/
Of having abused/
Said don’t bash the bishop, if poss.
///

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/10963332/Baroness-Butler-Sloss-hid-claims-of-bishops-sex-abuse.html

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Champ Nou

A striker whose play is exciting/
Who found Barcelona inviting/
Departed the Mersey/
To wear Barca’s jersey/
They dangled the bait & he’s biting.
///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/28180600

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How Low Can You Go?

A singer with friends in low places/
Whose music the public embraces/
Will go on his knees/
& say Enda please/
Ignore petty licensing cases
///

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/ireland/10961066/Garth-Brooks-offers-to-beg-the-Irish-PM-to-intervene-in-his-cancelled-concerts-row.html

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A Listening Government

The government justifies trawls/
Of citizens’ emails and calls/
As terror prevention/
Thru data retention/
But some people reckon that’s balls.
///
http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/jul/10/emergency-surveillance-laws-rushed-through-cross-party-support

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/487207451301658625

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Host Becomes Toast

There was a Brazilian side/
Whose players were famed far and wide/
Till one July night/
It all went to shite/
And Germany battered their pride.
///

Now I must say, while most neutrals were willing Brazil to nick one back at the end out of sympathy, I was praying the German defence would hold. Why? Because ‘Brazil’ rhymes with ‘nil’ of course. Here’s the draft I had ready to send the minute the final whistle went:

There once was a team from Brazil

Renowned for its footballing skill

Till one July night

It all went to shite

And Germany won 7-0.

But the buggers had to go and pull one back!

http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/worldcup/brazil-vs-germany-match-report-world-cup-2014-utter-humiliation-for-brazil-as-germany-hit-seven-9593317.html

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