Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013). http://twitmericks.com/book-news/

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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News of The Screws

The ex-tabloid editor Andy/

Admitted that when he got randy/

He romped in the sack/

With fellow Screws hack/

Rebekah (his boss, which was handy)

///http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/apr/14/andy-coulson-affair-rebekah-brooks-was-wrong

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/456355765960204288

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Not Fare

A hedgie commuting by rail/
Whose fare-dodging went off the scale/
Has had to repay/
Some 43K/
But being so rich, avoids jail.
///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-27011497
 
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Fine Young Criminal

A 9-month old boy from Lahore/
Is not on a rap any more./
Attempting to murder -/
Could this be absurder?/
At least they can wait till he’s 4!
///http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/ninemonthold-baby-attempted-murder-charges-thrown-out-by-pakistan-court-9256077.html
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Sue Farewell…

Sue Townsend is gone, rest her soul/

Who gave us all Adrian Mole./

He wrote the odd poem/

(You probably know ‘em)/

On Thatcher & love & the dole.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-26982680

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/454654433964875776

 

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Sexual Politics

Oh pity the weary MP/

Relaxed by the odd G&T/

Attempting to nurture/

The Commons researcher/

By placing a hand on a knee.

///http://www.channel4.com/news/sexual-harassment-culture-in-parliament-exposed-westminster-commons

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Myner Storm

A fellow named Myners, a Lord,/

Has quit the Co-operative board./

He kicked up a storm/

With plans for reform/

That most Co-op members deplored.

///http://www.theguardian.com/business/2014/apr/09/lord-myners-quits-co-op-group

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/454249673671585792

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A Problem Called Maria

A minister known as Maria/

Resigned, saying ‘It is now clear/

I’m just a distraction’/

Though this drastic action/

Was not, I suspect, her idea.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-26951464

///https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/453799830696251392

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Terror Error

A bomber got rather a shock,/

His bomb going off at half-cock./

The master of terror/

Made one basic error:/

He didn’t put forward his clock.///

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Suffocation Desert Storm

A wind from a far distant land/

Has blanketed England in sand/

For people with asthma/

This grainy miasma/

Is more than our poor lungs can stand.

///http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/environment/10739019/Sahara-dust-storm-prompts-serious-health-warning-for-asthmatics.html

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/451283716623835136

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Mail Sale Fail

The NAO reckons the sale/

Of shares in the old Royal Mail/

Was done at a price/

In spite of advice/

That short-changed the state – epic fail!

///http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/apr/01/royal-mail-undervaluing-taxpayer-cable

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/450992456667254784

 

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