Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013). http://twitmericks.com/book-news/

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Bones of Contention

The fate of an old diplodocus/
Has prompted the UK to focus/
Less on its curation/
Than pro-nunciation/
We must all be clean off our rocus!
///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-magazine-monitor-31040334

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Crepe Name

French law says a woman & fella/
Cannot call their daughter Nutella/
So why not instead/
Of hazelnut spread/
Pick lager, & call the girl Stella?
///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-30993608

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Master Bates

A singer named Brown who’s a Manc/
Says sex education was frank/
The teacher would pass/
The boys in his class/
Instructions on just how to wank.
///

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/jan/27/fred-talbot-boys-masturbate-ian-brown-court

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Greek Creek

There was a young radical Greek/

Who made all the Eurocrats freak/

He won the most votes/

By arguing boats/

Need paddles to exit Shit Creek.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-30982932

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Vanity Project

An MEP says he defected/
(Though UKIP declared him ejected)/
As Farage’s vanity/
And members’ insanity/
Somehow weren’t what he expected.
///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-30967633

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Nothing Succeeds Like Succession

With royal respect in full swing/
To carp at it isn’t the thing/
Salute the succession/
Ignore the repression/
The king is dead – long live the king.
///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-30962740

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The Unbearable Uprightness of Peeing

A German court moved to dismiss/
Restrictions on how fellows piss/
We needn’t sitzpinkle/
But may stand and sprinkle/
Although it’s a bit hit or miss.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-30937492

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Heil and Farewell

Herr Bachmann has quit as the leader/
Of xenophobe movement Pegida/
For silly old Lutz/
Dressed up, like a klutz,/
As Hitler, his Nazi preceder.
///

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/pegida-leader-lutz-bachmann-steps-down-over-hitler-photograph-9993425.html

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Sun Sets On Page 3

Farewell to page 3 of The Sun/
From now on the paper will run/
Bikini-clad tits/
Which better befits/
The serious news on page one.
///

http://www.theguardian.com/media/2015/jan/19/has-the-sun-axed-page-3-topless-pictures

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Party Poopers

In Devon a 5-year-old kid/
Did not attend – heaven forbid!/
His friend’s birthday bash/
And so must pay cash -/
The parents demand 16 quid.
///

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/fiveyearold-reportedly-invoiced-15-for-failing-to-turn-up-to-friends-birthday-party-9987217.html

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