Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013). http://twitmericks.com/book-news/

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Lack of Intelligence

Our finest intelligence brains/

Took very considerable pains/

To spy on Left lecturers/

Thought to be treacherous/

Missing the Blunts & Macleans.///

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/revealed-how-mi5-watched-the-wrong-marxist-oxbridge-academics–christopher-hill-and-eric-hobsbawn-9814170.html

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Apocalypso Now

Ex-BBC DJ Mike Read/
Reluctantly had to concede/
He kept getting gyp, so/
His UKIP Calypso/
Will now be withdrawn at top speed.
///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-29722860

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Fish Do It

Some primitive fish in a lake/
Gave all evolution a break/
These fish with no necks/
Were first to have sex -/
They did it for everyone’s sake.
///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-29661446

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Joints of Lamb

Some sheep found a big bag of weed/
And used it as animal feed/
Creating alarm/
On old Fanny’s farm/
But better than giving them speed.
///

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/cannabis-munching-sheep-left-high-kite-4455124

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Arty or Arsy?

A sculpture in one Paris Square/
That’s puzzling residents there/
Resembles a toy/
Some people enjoy/
Inserting in their derrière.
///

http://www.france24.com/en/20141018-paris-giant-green-butt-plug-vandalised-paul-mccarthy-place-vendome/

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Plane Stupid

There once was a chap on a plane/

Who spoke without using his brain/

“I have a disease”/

He said with a sneeze./

I don’t think he’ll do it again.///

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/travelvideo/11153395/Ebola-hoax-causes-scare-on-US-Airways-flight.html

 

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Seaside Kippers

The voters of Clacton-on-Sea/

Elected a UKIP MP/

With Carswell’s defection/

And swift re-election/

We’ll see more Conservatives flee.///

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/politics/clacton-byelection-westminster-rocked-as-douglas-carswell-becomes-ukips-first-ever-mp-9786319.html

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Bad Breeding

A zoo had two captive hyenas/

In theory from Mars and from Venus/

But efforts to breed/

Were not to succeed/

As each, it transpired, had a penis.///

http://i100.independent.co.uk/article/the-awkward-reason-why-a-zoo-couldnt-breed-two-hyenas–eJUXp8JqBe

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The Battle of the Number Plate

The cast and the crew of Top Gear/

Have fled Argentina in fear/

A Falklands-themed plate/

Made locals irate/

So Clarkson was out on his ear.///

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/10/03/jeremy-clarkson-top-gear-argentina-number-plate_n_5926026.html

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Courting Controversy

Conservative minister Grayling/

Says liberal justice is failing,/

The ECHR/

Is going too far,/

And let’s bring back death by impaling.///

http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2014/oct/03/tories-plan-uk-withdrawal-european-convention-on-human-rights

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