Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013). http://twitmericks.com/book-news/

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Fine Upstanding Member

Lord Rennard’s unwanted attention/
Became a big bone of contention/
But Nicholas Clegg/
Said he’s a good egg/
And lifted his party suspension.
///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-28862823

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Cliff Tiff

The Beeb and the cops had a tiff/

Regarding a raid on Sir Cliff/

We find, said the coppers,/

Deployment of choppers/

By BBC folks a bit stiff.///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-28823699

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Holy Man Barred

The planet’s most highly-pierced guy /
Was not allowed into Dubai/
He said “This is shit/
My face doesn’t fit -/
I’m trying to figure out why!”
///

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/aug/17/dubai-officials-deny-entry-most-pierced-man

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Missouri Breaks

The death of a man in Missouri/
Has led to community fury/
Perhaps it will stop/
If folks see the cop/
Who shot him in front of a jury.///

http://uk.reuters.com/article/2014/08/16/uk-usa-missouri-shooting-idUKKBN0GE07C20140816

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/501000841416171520

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Abbadi vs A Baddie

Iraq’s new PM Al-Abbadi/

Will have to take on al-Baghdadi,/

A ruthless sectarian/

Strict doctrinarian/

Caliphate-building jihadi.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-28748366

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/500294535533305856

 

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Look No Hands!

A pilot while trying to land/
Said: “This isn’t going as planned./
No cause for alarm,/
I just lost my arm -/
Can somebody lend me a hand?”
///

http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/local-national/northern-ireland/flybe-pilots-false-arm-fell-off-on-landing-at-belfast-city-airport-30507774.html

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Poverty Crap

A Tory who gave up his seat/
Had problems in making ends meet -/
He can’t buy his spouse/
A nice London house/
And sizeable country retreat.
///

http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2014/aug/11/tory-foreign-office-minister-quits-intolerable-expenses-rules

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Between Iraq and a Hard Plaice

The PM has acted to squish/

Some parliamentarians’ wish/

For him to come back/

And deal with Iraq/

Instead of just looking at fish.///

http://i100.independent.co.uk/article/david-cameron-urged-to-stop-pointing-at-fish-and-recall-parliament–x1DKYj8TMe

https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/498891182299414529

 

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A Twitter Milestone

Three years and three months after the first Twitmerick, today @twitmericks reached 5,000 Twitter followers. The cause of today’s little boost was pickup by Guido Fawkes, who made the baroness Warsi limerick his quote of the day. http://order-order.com/2014/08/11/quote-of-the-day-899/

I know there have been gaps in the service recently as I’ve been away for a certain amount of the last month, but rest assured the limericks will continue to flow, on Twitter and here.

Mick Twister. 

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Warsi gets Arsy

Conservative Baroness Warsi/
Is getting increasingly arsy/
For now she’s resigned,/
The Tories, we find,/
Are white, male and too upper-classy.
///

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/baroness-warsi-turns-on-public-school-tories-9659495.html

(With apologies to those for whom ‘arse’ and ‘class’ don’t rhyme!)

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