An astronaut named Major Tim/
Informs us his vocals are grim/
This being the case/
When he’s out in space/
Expect no more Bowie from him.
There once was a top UKIP chief/
Whose Scottish campaign came to grief/
Farage had to scrub/
His gig in a pub/
As coppers provided relief.
A footballing giant named Becks/
Is trading his shorts for long kecks/
He exits the pitch/
With no end in sight to the cheques.
There was an old man from Hong Kong
Who tended to speak thru his dong
Saying rapists abuse
Because women booze
A comment demonstrably wrong.
There once was an old Bowie fan
In space in a real tin can
& so thinking “Sod It!”, he
Covered Space Oddity
Then fell to earth like The Man.
Roberto Mancini of Italy
Is leaving Man City quite bitterly
Despite a big payoff
The manager’s layoff
Was not done especially prettily.
There was an ex-husband and wife
Brought low by their marital strife
The pair of old lags
Now out wearing tags
Emerge to a different life.
A fellow named Nawaz Sharif/
Is set to be Pakistan’s chief./
He staged a revival,/
Upstaging his rival,/
To old Imran Khan’s disbelief.