Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013). http://twitmericks.com/book-news/

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Fish Do It

Some primitive fish in a lake/
Gave all evolution a break/
These fish with no necks/
Were first to have sex -/
They did it for everyone’s sake.


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Joints of Lamb

Some sheep found a big bag of weed/
And used it as animal feed/
Creating alarm/
On old Fanny’s farm/
But better than giving them speed.


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Arty or Arsy?

A sculpture in one Paris Square/
That’s puzzling residents there/
Resembles a toy/
Some people enjoy/
Inserting in their derrière.


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Plane Stupid

There once was a chap on a plane/

Who spoke without using his brain/

“I have a disease”/

He said with a sneeze./

I don’t think he’ll do it again.///



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Seaside Kippers

The voters of Clacton-on-Sea/

Elected a UKIP MP/

With Carswell’s defection/

And swift re-election/

We’ll see more Conservatives flee.///


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Bad Breeding

A zoo had two captive hyenas/

In theory from Mars and from Venus/

But efforts to breed/

Were not to succeed/

As each, it transpired, had a penis.///


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The Battle of the Number Plate

The cast and the crew of Top Gear/

Have fled Argentina in fear/

A Falklands-themed plate/

Made locals irate/

So Clarkson was out on his ear.///


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Courting Controversy

Conservative minister Grayling/

Says liberal justice is failing,/


Is going too far,/

And let’s bring back death by impaling.///


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Stiffin’ Griffin

A BNP former big hitter/

Was kicked out for being a splitter/

They gave him the flick/

So now poor old Nick/

Is not only racist, he’s bitter.///


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Checking the Pigeonholes

In China, a land in the East,/
Some 10,000 doves were policed./
Security checked ‘em,/
Inspecting each rectum,/
Before they were safely released.///
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