Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013). http://twitmericks.com/book-news/

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Force de Crap

The Met went to terrible pains/
To infiltrate justice campaigns/
But might police time/
Spent tackling crime/
Result in more tangible gains?


Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Bishop’s Move

The church that they call #CofE/
Has voted at last to agree/
Episcopal folks/
Don’t have to be blokes/
You can have a she in a see.


Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

At A Sloss

A Baroness named Butler-Sloss/
Resigned as inquiry boss/
Announcing “So long,/
I’ve done nothing wrong,/
It’s just the way things came across”.


Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Meister Stroke

When Germany play Argentina/
Their finishing proves to be keener/
As Mario Götze/
Nips in and converts a/
Fine cross in the Rio arena.


Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Adios, Amigos

Farewell to the band the Ramones/
Of wonderful ear-splitting tones/
To Joey and Johnny/
& Dee Dee, now Tommy/
Who sadly did not make old bones.


Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

See No Evil

A senior judge, Butler-Sloss/
On hearing a C of E boss/
Was being accused/
Of having abused/
Said don’t bash the bishop, if poss.


Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Champ Nou

A striker whose play is exciting/
Who found Barcelona inviting/
Departed the Mersey/
To wear Barca’s jersey/
They dangled the bait & he’s biting.


Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

How Low Can You Go?

A singer with friends in low places/
Whose music the public embraces/
Will go on his knees/
& say Enda please/
Ignore petty licensing cases


Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

A Listening Government

The government justifies trawls/
Of citizens’ emails and calls/
As terror prevention/
Thru data retention/
But some people reckon that’s balls.


Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Host Becomes Toast

There was a Brazilian side/
Whose players were famed far and wide/
Till one July night/
It all went to shite/
And Germany battered their pride.

Now I must say, while most neutrals were willing Brazil to nick one back at the end out of sympathy, I was praying the German defence would hold. Why? Because ‘Brazil’ rhymes with ‘nil’ of course. Here’s the draft I had ready to send the minute the final whistle went:

There once was a team from Brazil

Renowned for its footballing skill

Till one July night

It all went to shite

And Germany won 7-0.

But the buggers had to go and pull one back!


Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment