Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013). http://twitmericks.com/book-news/

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Bubble Trouble

A bubble-wrap firm is in trouble/
For offering wrap with no bubble./
A bubble-free wrap?/
The idea’s crap/
And has to be popped at the double.
///
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/business/soon-you-wont-be-able-to-pop-bubble-wrap-because-the-company-who-produces-it-hates-fun-10360231.html

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Making Poverty History

The government led by the Tories/
Got fed up with poverty stories/
And so IDS/
Made poverty less/
By just redefining what poor is.
///
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/07/01/iain-duncan-smith-scraps-_n_7704660.html

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Fracking Off

Cuadrilla’s proposal for fracking/

Found backing in Lancashire lacking/

As people went wild/

In Blackpool and Fylde/

The councillors sent the firm packing.

///http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/jun/29/fracking-application-cuadrilla-rejected-lancashire-county-council

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Dildoes of Terror

A CNN journalist spied/
A pro-ISIS flag at gay pride,/
But oh what a cock-up -/
The flag was a mock-up,/
With dildoes for script on the side!
///
http://www.vox.com/2015/6/28/8857415/cnn-isis-dildo-gay-pride-flag

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Death by a Thousand Cuts

The ECB says cut your spending/
Or we will not carry on lending/
But Greece says austerity/
Means for posterity/
Hardship and pain neverending.
///
http://www.theguardian.com/business/2015/jun/28/greek-crisis-ecb-decide-emergency-funding

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Courting Couples

The US Supreme Court has said/
That equal rights must go ahead./
Ohio to Texas/
Whatever your sex is,/
Or that of your mate, you can wed.
///
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2015/us/2014-term-supreme-court-decision-same-sex-marriage.html?_r=0

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Drum and Trumpet

One night in a blues bar, the drummer/
Let rip with a bit of a hummer/
He opened a window/
To let the foul wind go/
And got the bar fined – what a bummer!
///
http://www.newser.com/story/208703/how-a-farting-drummer-cost-a-dc-bar-500.html

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Sperm Bank Welcomes All Comers

This one is not linked to a current news story, but inspired by a feature programme I heard on the BBC (link below). The combination of story and location proved irresistible.

A big UK sperm bank in Birmingham/
Has many containers with sperminem/
From all over Brum/
The men duly come/
Depositing gametes that squirminem.
///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b05zhhj4

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Secrets and Spies

Obama is firmly denying/
That agencies might still be spying/
On leaders of France./
There could be a chance/
That somebody somewhere is lying.
///
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/jun/24/obama-calls-hollande-nsa-no-longer-spying-french-president

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Napoleon’s Bone Apart

A medic examining Bonaparte/
It’s said took Napoleon’s bone apart/
Altho it seems wrong/
Removing his dong/
A stiff has no use for a boner part.
///
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/waterloo-200-years-on-and-the-strange-journey-of-napoleons-penis-10333605.html

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