Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013). http://twitmericks.com/book-news/

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Sturgeon Goes Fishing

There once was a fellow named Ed/
Who went on the telly and said/
In spite of the urgin’/
Of Nicola Sturgeon/
He’s not gonna jump into bed.///

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Leicester Molester

An MP who served Leicester West/
Sought children, it’s said, to molest/
But due to dementia/
The former backbencher/
Can keep on avoiding arrest.
///
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-32329924

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R.I.P. Percy

There once was a soul man who shone/
So brightly but now he is gone/
Adieu Percy Sledge/
You absolute ledge/
When a Man Loves a Woman lives on.
///
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-32301435

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School of Hard Nox

A footballer known as Raheem,/
A star of the Liverpool team,/
Inhaled nitrous oxide;/
“This isn’t”, his doc sighed/
“A normal athletic regime”.
///
http://www.theguardian.com/football/2015/apr/13/raheem-sterling-liverpool-nitrous-oxide-video

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Staying One Movement Ahead

A Georgian chess-playing chap/
Was kicked out for using an app/
That helped him improve/
His next killer move/
Whenever he went for a crap.
///
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/chess/11531055/Grandmaster-makes-bad-move-after-being-caught-cheating-at-chess-in-a-lavatory.html

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Electoral Rolls

A cheating UKIP politician/
Was probed by police on suspicion/
Of fixing the polls/
With free sausage rolls,/
Endangering voter nutrition.
///
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-32234567

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Wealding Power

An oil firm’s located a field/
In Surrey, just under the weald/
It’s hard to extract/
But needn’t be fracked/
And could give a sizeable yield.
///
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-32229203

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Ship of Fools

Two men sailed a DIY boat/
But others so minded please note/
Coat hangers and plywood/
Aren’t items that I would/
Employ if you want it to float.///

http://www.itv.com/news/anglia/2015-04-07/men-rescued-from-9-homemade-boat/

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Mal Adjusted

The manager Malky Mackay/
Was sacked, and the sole reason why/
Was that Wigan Athletic/
Showed form so pathetic./
His racism? That’s by the by.
///
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/32198276

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Surgin’ Sturgeon

The SNP’s Nicola Sturgeon/
Appears to have rather a surge on/
The pundits all rated/
How she mass-debated/
& think her support will now burgeon.
///
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/04/02/nicola-sturgeon-triumphs-as-outsiders-seize-tv-debate-platform_n_6996984.html

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