Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013). http://twitmericks.com/book-news/

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Crappy Christmas

A Christmas fair crafted by Laurence/
Was shut amid public abhorrence/
The grotto was crappy/
The children unhappy/
And rain kept on falling in torrents.


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Medway Headway

The Strood by-election in Kent/
Solidified UKIP’s ascent,/
Farage making headway/
In towns on the Medway,/
Which Cameron swore to prevent.


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Charm Offensive

Old Julien Blanc was a geezer/
Who taught with a woman you please ‘er/
By twisting her arm./
Resisting his charm,/
The UK refused him a visa.


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Marley’s Ghost

Bob Marley of Kingston, Jamaica,/
A serious cannabis-taker/
Will now be a brand/
As weed gets unbanned/
Becoming a big money-maker.


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Abbott Shirt-fronts Koala

The annual G20 gala/
Was in Tony Abbott’s back parlour/
Where far from disputin’/
With Vladimir Putin/
The two men embraced a koala.


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Bottoms Up!

A TV celeb known as Kim/
Whose bottom is big, though she’s slim/
Positioned a glass/
Upon the said ass*/
And filled it right up to the brim.

*Substitute arse if that works better for your pronunciation – I figured this version would work for north Britons and North Americans, even if I’d normally go with arse myself.


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FIFA Madness

Tho FIFA says nothing’s the matter/
With bidding by Russia and Qatar/
That’s not the idea/
Of Michael Garcia/
Creating a problem for Blatter.


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Comet Rider

A robot was sent to a comet/
Intending to take samples from it/
The size of a fridge/
It sits on a ridge/
Like the cooker from Wallace & Gromit.


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Whips Do Lie

The poor old Conservative whips/

Had trouble in getting to grips/

With Tory abhorrence/

Of Euro-wide warrants/

So may have made one or two slips.


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Berlin Wall limericks

As well as the on-the-day news story limerick I just posted, I also put one up on Twitter from the book, but of course I had to tweak it quite considerably to fit 140 characters. I think it may even be improved:

There was a big wall in Berlin
That was built to keep East Germans in
While the state crushed subversion
Through fear and coercion
And stored suspect smells in a tin.

There was a big wall in Berlin
Erected to keep Ossis in
As the state crushed subversion
Thru fear & coercion
& held suspect smells in a tin

And of course, the book is still available for Christmas 2014!! http://www.amazon.com/There-Was-Geezer-Called-Caesar/dp/1907554866/ref=pd_sxp_f_pt

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