Mick Twister

Mick Twister is an anagram of Twitmericks.

Mick writes limericks about the news on Twitter, pretty much daily, as @twitmericks. These are also reproduced below, with links to the relevant news stories.

He is the author of There Was an Old Geezer Called Caesar: A History of the World in 100 Limericks (Anova, 2013). http://twitmericks.com/book-news/

He writes limericks with a biblical theme for the quarterly 197 Piccadilly magazine. http://www.sjp.org.uk/uploads/1/6/5/7/16572376/____pp197_autumn_2013smaller.pdf

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Super Collider

What every Prime Minister needs/
When visiting cities like Leeds/
Is close supervision/
To fend off collision/
With joggers at dangerous speeds.
///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-29784493

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Fallon Foul of the Boss

The member for Sevenoaks, Kent/
Made comments he had to repent/
On No 10’s prompt/
He said: “Forget ‘swamped’,/
‘A bit under pressure’, I meant”!
///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-29784486

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Immaculate Constriction

A python who lives in Kentucky/
Got pregnant without getting lucky/
Contriving to make/
A wee baby snake/
With no mate and no ficky-fucky.
///

http://www.independent.co.uk/environment/nature/worlds-largest-snake-species-gives-virgin-birth-9818968.html

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Lack of Intelligence

Our finest intelligence brains/

Took very considerable pains/

To spy on Left lecturers/

Thought to be treacherous/

Missing the Blunts & Macleans.///

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/revealed-how-mi5-watched-the-wrong-marxist-oxbridge-academics–christopher-hill-and-eric-hobsbawn-9814170.html

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Apocalypso Now

Ex-BBC DJ Mike Read/
Reluctantly had to concede/
He kept getting gyp, so/
His UKIP Calypso/
Will now be withdrawn at top speed.
///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-29722860

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Fish Do It

Some primitive fish in a lake/
Gave all evolution a break/
These fish with no necks/
Were first to have sex -/
They did it for everyone’s sake.
///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-29661446

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Joints of Lamb

Some sheep found a big bag of weed/
And used it as animal feed/
Creating alarm/
On old Fanny’s farm/
But better than giving them speed.
///

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/cannabis-munching-sheep-left-high-kite-4455124

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Arty or Arsy?

A sculpture in one Paris Square/
That’s puzzling residents there/
Resembles a toy/
Some people enjoy/
Inserting in their derrière.
///

http://www.france24.com/en/20141018-paris-giant-green-butt-plug-vandalised-paul-mccarthy-place-vendome/

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Plane Stupid

There once was a chap on a plane/

Who spoke without using his brain/

“I have a disease”/

He said with a sneeze./

I don’t think he’ll do it again.///

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/travelvideo/11153395/Ebola-hoax-causes-scare-on-US-Airways-flight.html

 

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Seaside Kippers

The voters of Clacton-on-Sea/

Elected a UKIP MP/

With Carswell’s defection/

And swift re-election/

We’ll see more Conservatives flee.///

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/politics/clacton-byelection-westminster-rocked-as-douglas-carswell-becomes-ukips-first-ever-mp-9786319.html

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