Well, aren’t you a talented bunch. Lots of good ideas, with a high standard of use of rhyme and metre. In fact, you’re so good that I’ve decided to give two more copies of There Once Was a Man with Six Wives as bonus prizes.
So here are the FIVE winners, presented not in ranked order, but in five categories arranged, of course, in AABBA formation:
- The Euphemistic, from @HerodotusPenguin:
A king who was bored on his throne
Played verse-writing games on his phone
His manner hubristic
Found “throne” euphemistic
And utterly lowered the tone.
- The Onanistic, from Nile (posting here on the WordPress blog):
A king who was bored on the throne
Would wring for his pleasure alone
A nosy young courtier
Proposed something naughtier
…A thing that is best left unknown.
(Nile clearly thinks our king was a little on the pale side – he was a wan king).
- The Mythological, from @itsandygraves:
A king who was bored on the throne
Gave out a dispirited groan
It were a good trick
But I’m heartily sick
Can I put sword back in’t stone.
(I’m not sure whether it was space pressure or humour value that led Andy to make King Arthur a Yorkshireman, but pretty much everywhere claims him, so what the hell!)
- The Scatological, from @htfb:
A king who was bored on the throne
Was heard by his courtiers to moan
“It is dull just to sit
Here, pretending to shit.
Where else might they leave me alone?
- And the Linguistic, from @johnmoynes:
A king who was bored on the throne
Said “Her Majesty’s left me alone
I think she has gone
To chew on a scone
Or does one pronounce it a scone?”
Congratulations to those five winners -message me your name and address details and I’ll sort out the prizes – and thanks to all of you who entered.
A special mention must also go to Ken Gosse, who despite not being eligible for the prize (on account of living on the wrong side of the Atlantic), submitted no fewer than 14 limericks via comments on the Facebook page – you can read them all below the competition post here.

What’s the best way to message you? For work reasons, I have to keep my @Hairyears Twitter account locked, so messaging you might be difficult.
I’ve sent you a follow request.