Ten Tory hopefuls/

Standing in a line/

Harper had to scarper/

And then there were nine./

***

Nine Tory wannabes/

Dicing with our fate/

Leadsom proved too dreadsome/

And then there were eight./

***

Eight Tories sought to move/

Next to Number 11/

Esther’s turn to fester/

Left us with seven.

***

Seven Tories posturing,

Swinging their dicks,

Matt dropped his bat

Then there were six.

***

Six Tories striving/

To keep their hopes alive/

Dom’s turn to bomb/

Leaves us with five.

***

Five Tories scrapping/

To win a few votes more,/

Rory’s bid for glory/

Ended, leaving four.

***

Four Tories vying/

To see the Queen for tea/

Saj won’t meet Her Maj/

Now there are three.

***

Three Tories lobbying,/

Bashing the EU,/

Gove vainly strove/

Then there were two.

***

Two Tory candidates/

Basking in the sun/

Hunt was such a runt/

Boris Johnson won.