Category Archives: Uncategorized

In Bedford and Burnley and places/ Considered as Covid-hit spaces/ Unlocking’s on ice/ In secret advice/ Dispensed on a ‘need to know basis’./ https://t.co/5XofaYQODM

An old man in Minsk had a plan/ To capture a dissident man/By faking a threat,/ Diverting a jet,/ Then watching the shit hit the fan./// https://t.co/8NdiauTJVl

A dealer in smack, crack and Es/ Whom coppers were able to seize/ Wound up in the nick/ For posting a pic -/ A shot of his favourite cheese./// https://t.co/JG2ccWgyKj

Le people have now fait their choix,/ On who has that je ne sais quoi:/ C’est Italy first/ Le UK, now cursed/ By Brexit, alone on nul points.///

Dear farmer, stay clear of the fowl/ With whom you reside cheek by jowl,/ For petting a chicken/ May cause you to sicken/ And lose all control of your bowel.///

A fellow who knows about poo/ Advises a good thing to do/ Is swallow a muffin/ With bright coloured stuff in/ And wait till your faeces turns blue./// https://t.co/A4x2hxJnzb

There is an old fogy named Poots,/ Whose view that our planet has roots/ Six thousand years old,/ Creationists hold,/ Though evidence plainly refutes./// https://t.co/lV8uVLvcEz

A trick when fresh air becomes sparse is/ To use the hole meant for catharsis/ Instead to respire,/ For when things get dire,/ Some mammals breathe in through their arses./// https://t.co/CaiNHlVnzT NB: Catharsis = evacuation of the bowels.

Police in a Hong Kong vice crackdown/ Found one client easy to track down/ As he was their chief,/ Just seeking relief/ From masseuses rubbing his back down./// https://t.co/DqLdYzpgJn

Ten years back, one Tuesday in May/ On National Limerick Day/ I tweeted a rhyme/ To help pass the time,/ But then I got carried away./// Happy #NationalLimerickDay