Category Archives: Uncategorized

As polling defeat became plainer/ For number one Labour campaigner/ And leader Sir Keir,/ ‘The buck will stop here’/ Gave way to ‘sack Angela Rayner’.///

Dear tweeters, please take this advice,/ And try to say things that are nice:/ Before posting bitter/ And rude things on Twitter/ (Yes, even to assholes), think twice./// https://t.co/2TIrh3Ces4

A town that successfully bid/ For hundreds of thousands of quid/ In Covid relief/ Quite beggared belief/ And splurged on a giant pink squid./// https://t.co/Qyjr8xg6Nm *The Japanese flying squid is in fact Todarodes pacificus. Loligo is a genus including the … Continue reading →

A travel firm taking a bunch/ Of pensioners seeking free lunch/ To tour scenic spots/ Was selling them plots/ For graves, when it came to the crunch./// https://t.co/DJ5T7hiVdv

The God-fearing village of Cornholme/ Has driven the point of its scorn home/ Towards Hebden Bridge,/ A cesspit in which/ You’ll find a more suitable porn-home./// https://t.co/xdSVlkGfrN

“This royal award one bestows/ For unbridled enterprise goes/ To (checks notes) Lovehoney,/ A firm that makes money/ As long as our stimulus grows.”/ https://t.co/H9cZMcvswI

To butter a car isn’t funny,/ Say cops – cleaning up will cost money;/ Among things they dread are/ This crazed superspreader/ Returning, but next time with honey.///

A DUP leader named Foster/ Has quit after pals double-croster,/ The Irish Sea border,/ Which led to disorder,/ Among recent issues that coster.///

The former PM, Tony Blair,/ Was feeling a little bit spare/ And lacking a role,/ But now his new goal/ Appears to be growing his hair.///

A Standard Life rebranding wheeze/ Is bothering vowel devotees,/ Who feel Abrdn*/ Can only have bn/ Dreamed up after dropping some Es./// *”Pronounced ‘Aberdeen’” https://t.co/NZlK255Qoe