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A court cleared a man who denied/His Land’s End to John O’Groats ride/In record fast time/Denoted a crime,/Because, he explained, he had lied./// https://t.co/KlW2W17uFX

“I’m no Nazi war crimes belittler”,/ The councillor said, getting brittler;/ “I won’t take the blame,/ My dad chose my name!”/ Declared Uunona Adolf Hitler.///

In Germany, cops fearing malice,/ Or actions of pranksters most callous,/ Are scouring an area/ Of southern Bavaria/ In search of Deutschland’s Überphallus.///

An anti-gay Euro-MPMade off when his sex jamboreeWas busted in lockdownBy putting the cock downAnd climbing the gutter to flee. https://t.co/jFlBYwd7xD

According to government regs,Pubs serving from bottles or kegsMust sell drinkers meals,Which George Eustice feelsWill stretch to including Scotch eggs. https://t.co/vASGvlV25G