twitmericks

A species of river cetacean,/
When going through bouts of frustration/
No dolphin can take,/
Will play ‘toss the snake’/
For sexual gratification.///

https://t.co/VsHTK84d85

There was a old fellow named Keir/
Who said: “What must happen is clear,/
If cops have suspicions/
Of top politicians.”/
The Durham police: “Hold my beer”.///

https://t.co/kAuN7fIoTM

The loss to the Tories of Wandsworth/
Shows what the prime minister’s bond’s / worth;/
As Britain elects,/
His party reflects/
What keeping the maverick blond’s worth.///

https://t.co/0GCOU6H02r

A man who went years with no shaft/
Was given a new one by graft,/
But though it had charm,/
A dick on his arm/
Still left the poor man understaffed.///

https://t.co/yDqLISrFu7

Neil Parish has told his detractors/
He stumbled on scenes in which actors/
Perform to arouse/
While having a browse/
For content relating to tractors.///

https://t.co/qwdZWC4D8S

Upstanding MPs have heaped scorn/
On one Tory caught watching porn;/
Till publicly shamed/
He’ll have to be named/
The member for Browsing-on-Horn.///

https://t.co/SMzdhYZTh5

A maverick business big hitter/
Is taking control over Twitter;/
They brokered a deal on/
Terms offered by Elon,/
Who wants it more twisted and bitter.///

https://t.co/lA9LE8cb2J

Anonymous Tory MPs/
Say Angela’s trying to tease,/
Which seems to reveal/
They simply can’t deal,/
As colleagues, with women with knees.//_

https://t.co/OdHwJRh2Xd

An artist won global regard/
For plaster cast models which starred/
Great figures in rock/
Who gave her their cock,/
Which must have been really quite hard.///

Mark Harper, ex-Tory chief whip,/
Attacked the PM, letting rip,/
As Johnson entreats/
Those scared for their seats/
To hold off abandoning ship.///