A livestreamed fertility chase
Has top seeds competing for pace:
Which spermatazoa
Swim faster or slower –
It’s who not comes first in this race.
(Thanks to @johnthejack
http://www.thetimes.com/us/news-toda… (£)
timesofindia.indiatimes.com/science/worl…
The faraway islands of
Heard,
To whom Trump’s announcement referred,
Face tariffs, they say,
Because one fine day
A penguin flipped Donald the bird.
A force meant to tackle lawbreakers
Considers extreme troublemakers
Those secret consumers
Of breadsticks and hummus,
The dastardly Westminster Quakers.
A high-up Republican chap
Mis-shared on a messaging app;
Despite Trump and Waltz
Dismissing his faults,
The dogs in the street know that’s crap.
A theme park announced with some pride
Its new toxic effluent ride;
Alas the attraction
Was put out of action
When actual sewage was spied.
Are Trump, and his Maga alliance,
Excessively placing reliance
On Elon, whose pockets
Are deep, but whose spaceships
Explode? Well, it’s not rocket science!
There was an old bully named Trump,
Who got in a terrible grump,
When Mr Zelensky
Caused major offensky
By simply not kissing his rump.
A funeral parlour in China
Is everyone’s favourite diner
As oodles and oodles
Of folks taste their noodles
And swear there’s no restaurant finer.
America opened discussions
On war in Ukraine with the Russians;
While Marco says howdy
To Sergei in Saudi,
Volodymyr fears repercussions.
The member for Gorton and Denton
Was sacked over messages sent on
WhatsApp that were snide,
Career suicide
Apparently what he was bent on.
twitmericks 