twitmericks

A man who severely mishandles/
Continuing Partygate scandals/
Would have cake and eat it,/
But may have to beat it -/
His chances blown out with the candles.///

https://t.co/5Xbw7orars

A robotic cleaner of floors/
Who wearied of Travelodge chores/
Escaped for a spell/
And left the hotel/
To go and explore the outdoors.///

https://t.co/Pmz0yD8XF0

Two men in a post office fled/
When staff wouldn’t pay out, they said,/
The third fellow’s pension,/
The bone of contention/
The fact he appeared to be dead.///

https://t.co/MLE8O5QkCi

Farewell to old Meat Loaf, a cat/
Who came out of hell like a bat,/
Who’d do anything/
For love, he would sing,/
But oh no, he wouldn’t do that.///

https://t.co/9gakQd9U2n

A pooch who was accident-prone/
Got stuck on a mudflat alone,/
So fearing the worst/
They lured it with wurst/
By giving the doggie a drone./

https://t.co/wn34pq2KNS

As Johnson took blow after blow,/
His poll ratings dreadfully low,/
And cried “Heaven save us!”/
Up popped David Davis/
To say: “In the name of God, go!”///

https://t.co/tgwjgC9IgZ

A leader who won’t be for long/
Attempted to vary his song,/
Admitting he knew/
There might be a do,/
But nobody said it was wrong.///

https://t.co/dQmNXTKvsm

A couple who found that their hush/
Was rudely disturbed by the flush/
Of neighbours at night/
Have won their court fight;/
It took 19 years, but why rush?///

https://t.co/XUAaDVa7Mv

As households face energy shocks,/
One firm’s thinking outside the box:/
The bright sparks at Eon/
Said keep warm for free on/
The house with these nice toasty socks.///

https://t.co/NwT9jX1M5T

There was a Sun journo named Slack/
Who held a big news story back,/
A suitcase of wine/
Which may undermine/
His future career as a hack.///

https://t.co/2v8ZBWI8fJ