twitmericks

A couple who found that their hush/
Was rudely disturbed by the flush/
Of neighbours at night/
Have won their court fight;/
It took 19 years, but why rush?///

https://t.co/XUAaDVa7Mv

As households face energy shocks,/
One firm’s thinking outside the box:/
The bright sparks at Eon/
Said keep warm for free on/
The house with these nice toasty socks.///

https://t.co/NwT9jX1M5T

There was a Sun journo named Slack/
Who held a big news story back,/
A suitcase of wine/
Which may undermine/
His future career as a hack.///

https://t.co/2v8ZBWI8fJ

There was an old royal who since/
His arguments failed to convince/
The judge he should drop/
The case, got the chop/
From all of his duties as prince./

https://t.co/T30WABPEO9

A condom firm tried a new tactic,/
Still latex, but not so climactic;/
When too few make love/
The medical glove/
Is handy, and still prophylactic.///

https://t.co/60RR8Eowhl

The PM beseeches our pardon,/
Regretting he entered the garden/
And tries to sound humble/
As alibis crumble/
And attitudes steadily harden.///

https://t.co/z4s3nS3dly

“Hi all, after so much bad news,/
Let’s banish the old Covid blues,/
And gather together/
To savour the weather/
In Downing Street (bring your own booze)”.///

https://t.co/WwqcpYkZyF

There is an old fellow named Chris/
Who says give the vaccine a miss,/
And seeks to inspire us/
To tackle the virus/
Like he does, and drink our own piss.///

https://t.co/JrCFBuDTu1

Farewell to a great Oscar-winner,/
Trailblazer for any beginner,/
Who left the Bahamas/
To star in screen dramas./
Hey God, guess who’s coming to dinner!///

https://t.co/gMZsO1TlL9

The PM approached a fat cat/
And offered to go in to bat/
For him on the downlow,/
But please could Lord Brownlow/
Cough up to refurbish his flat.///

https://t.co/Vz7FLQFdZR