twitmericks

An old man pulled up at the shops/
Had driven untaxed, he told cops,/
His whole life in Nottingham/
With nobody spotting ‘im,/
Unlicensed, with no police stops.///

https://t.co/P2S9bWEJ7T

A pal says give Johnson a break,/
His future should not be at stake,/
For this celebration/
Lacked premeditation -/
They ambushed the man with a cake!///

https://t.co/xxHciZ4ik6

When hippos hear songs being sung/
In some unfamiliar tongue/
Then sensing the danger,/
They tackle the stranger/
Arse-on, with a shower of dung.///

https://t.co/tObXPVFHJw

A man who severely mishandles/
Continuing Partygate scandals/
Would have cake and eat it,/
But may have to beat it -/
His chances blown out with the candles.///

https://t.co/5Xbw7orars

A robotic cleaner of floors/
Who wearied of Travelodge chores/
Escaped for a spell/
And left the hotel/
To go and explore the outdoors.///

https://t.co/Pmz0yD8XF0

Two men in a post office fled/
When staff wouldn’t pay out, they said,/
The third fellow’s pension,/
The bone of contention/
The fact he appeared to be dead.///

https://t.co/MLE8O5QkCi

Farewell to old Meat Loaf, a cat/
Who came out of hell like a bat,/
Who’d do anything/
For love, he would sing,/
But oh no, he wouldn’t do that.///

https://t.co/9gakQd9U2n

A pooch who was accident-prone/
Got stuck on a mudflat alone,/
So fearing the worst/
They lured it with wurst/
By giving the doggie a drone./

https://t.co/wn34pq2KNS

As Johnson took blow after blow,/
His poll ratings dreadfully low,/
And cried “Heaven save us!”/
Up popped David Davis/
To say: “In the name of God, go!”///

https://t.co/tgwjgC9IgZ

A leader who won’t be for long/
Attempted to vary his song,/
Admitting he knew/
There might be a do,/
But nobody said it was wrong.///

https://t.co/dQmNXTKvsm