twitmericks

There was an old royal who since/
His arguments failed to convince/
The judge he should drop/
The case, got the chop/
From all of his duties as prince./

https://t.co/T30WABPEO9

A condom firm tried a new tactic,/
Still latex, but not so climactic;/
When too few make love/
The medical glove/
Is handy, and still prophylactic.///

https://t.co/60RR8Eowhl

The PM beseeches our pardon,/
Regretting he entered the garden/
And tries to sound humble/
As alibis crumble/
And attitudes steadily harden.///

https://t.co/z4s3nS3dly

“Hi all, after so much bad news,/
Let’s banish the old Covid blues,/
And gather together/
To savour the weather/
In Downing Street (bring your own booze)”.///

https://t.co/WwqcpYkZyF

There is an old fellow named Chris/
Who says give the vaccine a miss,/
And seeks to inspire us/
To tackle the virus/
Like he does, and drink our own piss.///

https://t.co/JrCFBuDTu1

Farewell to a great Oscar-winner,/
Trailblazer for any beginner,/
Who left the Bahamas/
To star in screen dramas./
Hey God, guess who’s coming to dinner!///

https://t.co/gMZsO1TlL9

The PM approached a fat cat/
And offered to go in to bat/
For him on the downlow,/
But please could Lord Brownlow/
Cough up to refurbish his flat.///

https://t.co/Vz7FLQFdZR

There was a young man from Belgrade/
Whose entry the Aussies forbade;/
They didn’t like Novak’s/
Arriving with no vax,/
And so in detention he stayed.///

https://t.co/1regFK2kGK

A former reality star/
Who sold her own wind by the jar/
Got pains in the heart/
From squeezing a fart/
And had to be rushed to ER.///

Hail Brexit, says Boris the Clown:/
Though imports and exports are down/
And Ulster’s a mess,/
It’s such a success/
For pint glasses carry a crown!///

https://t.co/fx5PKXLnn9