twitmericks

The Tory advisory board/

Will offer, if you can afford/

A six-figure sum/

To Boris’s chum,/

Top access, by way of reward.///

A couple of crack-selling wallies/
Are now doing time for their follies;/
Pursued by the peelers,/
The freewheeling dealers/
Crashed into some Morrison’s trollies.///

https://t.co/0z7JtG3upx

A woman advising a state/
That’s leaving it terribly late/
To stop global warming/
Has done some brainstorming,/
And asks that you don’t rinse your plate.///

https://t.co/lFf6zfB3DI

A man from the party in power/
Instructed us all not to cower,/
For now they’re desirous/
We live with a virus/
Let rip by this absolute shower.///

https://t.co/VXQfwBAHfX

Unnamed politicians impart/
Fresh news of how Covid can start:/
Significant data’s/
Emerging on flatus,/
Suggesting transmission by fart.///

https://t.co/s0725qCWi5

The chiefs of the U-nited Kingdom,/
In thrall to chaotic Right-wingdom,/
Said “Freedom is here!/
Go clubbing! Drink beer!”/
Then when people did so they pingdom.///

https://t.co/GRVs7wDMDo

The richest bloke anyone’s seen has
Now visited space, if not Venus,
The cash from your pocket
Financing a rocket
That looks like a 60-foot penis.

https://t.co/p6W1vSKctW

The Chancellor and the PM/
Said quarantine wasn’t for them,/
Till public reaction/
Provoked a retraction,/
Another comms policy gem.///

https://t.co/SljWqQCdmI

A news channel new to TV/
Declared itself home of the free/
With space for dissenters,/
But cancels presenters/
For brazenly taking the knee.///

https://t.co/z61sIwDBe1

A football supporter so dumb/
He stuck a lit flare up his bum/
And watched his arse smoke/
Said cider and coke/
Had rendered his buttocks quite numb.//

https://t.co/kwMaadfHAX