twitmericks

Said David: “The access I bought/
Apparently now counts for naught,/
And being thus spurned,/
This lesson I’ve learned:/
Whatever you do, don’t get caught”.///

https://t.co/6XRvG2TnEy

A Tory MP known as Rob,/
Who pestered an intern, the slob,/
By texting her things/
Like ‘Let’s fool, no strings’,/
Got off with a slap on the knob.///

https://t.co/HqtVxWVkvA

There was an old prince from Corfu/
Who married a princess he knew/
And shook lots of hands/
In various lands/
While asking “And what do you do?”///

“Hi David, apolz 4 delay,/
I hope we can still find a way/
2 keep things on stream -/
I’m pushing the team,/
B back in touch l8r 2day”.///

https://t.co/KHCC4CkXU7

For stone-agers painting a frieze/
Without any acid or Es,/
The rarified air/
In caverns down there/
Was what got them out of their trees.///

https://t.co/Z8KDWfHaOR

The Erdogan method of greeting/
Top Eurocrats there for a meeting/
Annoyed VDL/
As he and Michel/
Monopolised men-only seating./

https://t.co/mGMwaOvesN

The crown won by Mrs Sri Lanka/
Was seized amid violent rancour,/
The previous queen/
From 2019/
Endeavouring thus to disrank ‘er.///

https://t.co/Ggkts9qqSJ

Prince Hamza, a man from Amman/
Denied he was part of a plan,/
With help from his mother,/
To oust his half-brother,/
For whom the shit’s hitting the fan.///

https://t.co/x52kZaK3GX

The government carefully places ’em,/
And sets the assignment that faces ’em;/
They picked Tony Sewell/
As someone they knew’ll/
Deny institutional racism.///

https://t.co/3u1902orUr

Inspectors found no single copper/
Did anything vaguely improper -/
They got it just right/
In Clapham that night,/
Which feels like a bit of a whopper.///

https://t.co/RETUXwGi9R