twitmericks

A Standard Life rebranding wheeze/
Is bothering vowel devotees,/
Who feel Abrdn*/
Can only have bn/
Dreamed up after dropping some Es.///

*”Pronounced ‘Aberdeen'”

https://t.co/NZlK255Qoe

Choose the limerick that best fits your view on this controversial topic:

1)

As lockdown has brought to a head/
A shortage of yeast extract spread,/
Poor lovers of marmite/
In search of a jar might/
Have nothing to put on their bread.///

2)

As lockdown has brought to a head/
A shortage of yeast extract spread,/
Sad freaks who like marmite/
In search of a jar might/
Just have to eat honey instead.///

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/marmite-shortage-supplies-stocks-b1836374.html

The man who was Johnson’s right hand/
Says touting for 58 grand/
In party donations/
To fund renovations/
Was dodgy and probably banned.///

https://t.co/QDVyU8RQvy

For Johnson to thus undertake/
To fix the tax laws for the sake/
Of dust buster Dyson/
Was flagrant enticin’ -/
You don’t give a sucker a break.///

https://t.co/mklVtQsagL

In Somerset canvassing, Keir/
Nipped into the pub for a beer./
The landlord, a sceptic,/
Went quite apoplectic/
And yelled: “You’re not welcome in here!”///

https://t.co/AuhN5rkE31

The governing body UEFA/
Says breakaway plotters will PEFA/

Their superleague plans,/
Which none of their fans,/
It seems, has a good word to SEFA.///

https://t.co/Q0DEWeubRc

Retailers who seek to import/

Equipment for gardens report/

Since Suez got blocked/

They can’t get restocked,/

And gnomes are especially short.///

Will Amos MP, a Quebecker,/
The parliament Zoom session-wrecker,/
Had no way of knowing/
His camera was going,/
He says, when he got out his pecker.///

https://t.co/b6pYb88jlD

The firm M and S is to make/
The case, reputation at stake,/
That Aldi has stollen/
The character Colin/
For its caterpillar-shaped cake.///

https://t.co/8IzUvQPByX

The ruling majority smothers/

A probe into Cameron, Cruthers/

And Tory MPs/

Caught up in their sleaze,/

As Johnson admits there’ll be others.///