twitmericks

The firm M and S is to make/
The case, reputation at stake,/
That Aldi has stollen/
The character Colin/
For its caterpillar-shaped cake.///

https://t.co/8IzUvQPByX

The ruling majority smothers/

A probe into Cameron, Cruthers/

And Tory MPs/

Caught up in their sleaze,/

As Johnson admits there’ll be others.///

Police say the world’s biggest rabbit,/
Which doesn’t abscond, as a habit,/
Has just disappeared,/
And so it is feared/
A criminal broke in to nab it.////

https://t.co/xyt1DxhiOs

Said David: “The access I bought/
Apparently now counts for naught,/
And being thus spurned,/
This lesson I’ve learned:/
Whatever you do, don’t get caught”.///

https://t.co/6XRvG2TnEy

A Tory MP known as Rob,/
Who pestered an intern, the slob,/
By texting her things/
Like ‘Let’s fool, no strings’,/
Got off with a slap on the knob.///

https://t.co/HqtVxWVkvA

There was an old prince from Corfu/
Who married a princess he knew/
And shook lots of hands/
In various lands/
While asking “And what do you do?”///

“Hi David, apolz 4 delay,/
I hope we can still find a way/
2 keep things on stream -/
I’m pushing the team,/
B back in touch l8r 2day”.///

https://t.co/KHCC4CkXU7

For stone-agers painting a frieze/
Without any acid or Es,/
The rarified air/
In caverns down there/
Was what got them out of their trees.///

https://t.co/Z8KDWfHaOR

The Erdogan method of greeting/
Top Eurocrats there for a meeting/
Annoyed VDL/
As he and Michel/
Monopolised men-only seating./

https://t.co/mGMwaOvesN

The crown won by Mrs Sri Lanka/
Was seized amid violent rancour,/
The previous queen/
From 2019/
Endeavouring thus to disrank ‘er.///

https://t.co/Ggkts9qqSJ