The Lincolnshire force has denied
Reports of a mass homicide;
The bodies strewn round
Were there, police found,
For yoga, and nobody died.

A man who likes tweeting a turd,
Whose statements are often absurd,
Set out to wreck Twitter
By making it shitter
Then flipping its users the bird.

As Musk tears the playbook to shreds,
Disfunctional management spreads,
But being no quitter
I’ll post stuff on Twitter
And also on Zuckerberg’s Threads.

A lawyer for Musk wrote a letter/
To Zuckerberg over at Meta/
To say “listen Zuck,/
This Threads, what the fuck?/
You gonna clone Twitter but better?”///

reuters.com/technology/twi…

A fresco dug up in Pompeii/
Reveals, archaeologists say,/:
A Pompeiian eats a/
Big fruit-laden pizza,/
Ensuring their quinque a day.///

The threat of a coup by some Russians/
Was ended when last-ditch discussions/
Defused Wagner’s mutiny/
But as for old Putin, he/
Ought to expect repercussions.///

Though some might consider it wrong/
To party away all night long/
With lockdown in force,/
For Boris of course,/
Participants merit a gong.///

“In kangaroo courts I was tried,/
As colleagues deserted my side,/
And though I must quit/
(At least for a bit)/
I never told lies”, Johnson lied.///

Researchers believe masturbation/
Goes back to our oldest relation:/
Since primates had mitts,/
They’ve fingered their bits/
For sexual gratification.///

A cheese firm is getting some stick/
For using an edited pic,/
The Cerne Abbas Giant/
Made censor-compliant/
By chopping the poor fellow’s dick.///