twitmericks

Though Johnson insists he’s Clark Kent/

He’s shown himself in the event/

As focused as Nero,/

Less bold superhero,/

More Bullingdon-bred David Brent.///

Three astronauts landed from space
To Earth, quite a different place,
But on the space station
At least isolation
Is one thing you learn how to face.

#Covid_19
#ISS

https://t.co/mLhpHhLARX

As lockdowns and closures remain,/

The crisis gets ever more plain -/

To boost our resilience,/

It seems tens of millions/

Of pints must be poured down the drain.///

A tax-averse billionaire
Complains that he’s having a ‘mare
And wants bailing out,
Provoking the shout:
“Piss off till you pay your fair share!”

#virginatlantic
#RichardBranson

https://t.co/xeTyWwfLUx

The PM got Covid infection,
But saw Easter Day resurrection,
And must now show gratitude
By changing his attitude
And giving health workers protection.

#COVID19
#BorisJohnson
#BorisJohnsonCoronavirus

https://t.co/tDMxHP1wcu

A government fellow named Matt
Got into a PPE spat
With staff unamused
At being accused
Of using too much by the twat.

#coronavirus
#PPE
#PPEforNHS
#PPEshortage
#matthancock

https://t.co/3F9ZrDMzbG

Two pandas confined in a zoo
Found lockdown provided the cue
For long-delayed mating –
With noone spectating,
They finally managed to screw.

#PANDAS
#HongKong
#PandemicPoems
#COVID19

https://t.co/EgWxjkx8gj

Researchers developed a loo
That health-tests each visitor’s poo,
And films to obtain us
A scan of the anus,
While motions are being gone through.

https://t.co/59ocByStNV

A top Scottish medic got strife
For flouting restrictions on life
She’d said to obey,
And going away
To home number two out in Fife.

https://t.co/zivsXqcDru

So farewell Bill Withers, who shone,/

Somebody for all to lean on,/

While hearing him play/

And sing Lovely Day;/

There ain’t no sunshine now he’s gone.///