A chap who’s an odd shade of peach
Says treatments may be within reach,
And if ultraviolet
Falls short when you trial it,
Advises injections of bleach.*
#Trump
#disinfectant
https://t.co/VfTOSQxEuS
*This limerick is satirical and should not be read as endorsing such insanity.
A woman was shot in the chest,/
But saved by her implanted breast:/
The bullet’s deflection/
Affording protection/
By silicone bulletproof vest.
///
The oil price has fallen so far,
When sold on the futures bazaar,
It’s worth less than nought,
Provoking the thought
Who’ll pay me to fill up my car?”
Though Johnson insists he’s Clark Kent/
He’s shown himself in the event/
As focused as Nero,/
Less bold superhero,/
More Bullingdon-bred David Brent.///
Three astronauts landed from space
To Earth, quite a different place,
But on the space station
At least isolation
Is one thing you learn how to face.
#Covid_19
#ISS
As lockdowns and closures remain,/
The crisis gets ever more plain -/
To boost our resilience,/
It seems tens of millions/
Of pints must be poured down the drain.///
A tax-averse billionaire
Complains that he’s having a ‘mare
And wants bailing out,
Provoking the shout:
“Piss off till you pay your fair share!”
#virginatlantic
#RichardBranson
The PM got Covid infection,
But saw Easter Day resurrection,
And must now show gratitude
By changing his attitude
And giving health workers protection.
#COVID19
#BorisJohnson
#BorisJohnsonCoronavirus
A government fellow named Matt
Got into a PPE spat
With staff unamused
At being accused
Of using too much by the twat.
#coronavirus
#PPE
#PPEforNHS
#PPEshortage
#matthancock
Two pandas confined in a zoo
Found lockdown provided the cue
For long-delayed mating –
With noone spectating,
They finally managed to screw.
#PANDAS
#HongKong
#PandemicPoems
#COVID19
