twitmericks

The oil price has fallen so far,
When sold on the futures bazaar,
It’s worth less than nought,
Provoking the thought
Who’ll pay me to fill up my car?”

https://t.co/aat7cxDNZ2

Though Johnson insists he’s Clark Kent/

He’s shown himself in the event/

As focused as Nero,/

Less bold superhero,/

More Bullingdon-bred David Brent.///

Three astronauts landed from space
To Earth, quite a different place,
But on the space station
At least isolation
Is one thing you learn how to face.

#Covid_19
#ISS

https://t.co/mLhpHhLARX

As lockdowns and closures remain,/

The crisis gets ever more plain -/

To boost our resilience,/

It seems tens of millions/

Of pints must be poured down the drain.///

A tax-averse billionaire
Complains that he’s having a ‘mare
And wants bailing out,
Provoking the shout:
“Piss off till you pay your fair share!”

#virginatlantic
#RichardBranson

https://t.co/xeTyWwfLUx

The PM got Covid infection,
But saw Easter Day resurrection,
And must now show gratitude
By changing his attitude
And giving health workers protection.

#COVID19
#BorisJohnson
#BorisJohnsonCoronavirus

https://t.co/tDMxHP1wcu

A government fellow named Matt
Got into a PPE spat
With staff unamused
At being accused
Of using too much by the twat.

#coronavirus
#PPE
#PPEforNHS
#PPEshortage
#matthancock

https://t.co/3F9ZrDMzbG

Two pandas confined in a zoo
Found lockdown provided the cue
For long-delayed mating –
With noone spectating,
They finally managed to screw.

#PANDAS
#HongKong
#PandemicPoems
#COVID19

https://t.co/EgWxjkx8gj

Researchers developed a loo
That health-tests each visitor’s poo,
And films to obtain us
A scan of the anus,
While motions are being gone through.

https://t.co/59ocByStNV

A top Scottish medic got strife
For flouting restrictions on life
She’d said to obey,
And going away
To home number two out in Fife.

https://t.co/zivsXqcDru