A man who had dolphin relations/ Insists he was groomed by cetaceans/ Especially Dolly/ Who led him to folly/ With rubbing & other flirtations.

A woman from south California/ Desiring her intercourse pornier/ Is suing E.L./ Whose ‘Fifty Shades’ Gel/ Did not make her feel any hornier. 

A man with no penis who chose A transplant to get a new hose, When asked to assess The organ’s success Replied: “Well it comes and it goes”.

A chap was arrested for shooting/ A PC that wasn’t rebooting/ Though few go ballistic/ It’s characteristic/ Of how we all feel when computing.

The vaults of a big bank in Birmingham/ Have only 9 gentlemen’s sperminem/ Requiring owners/ Of boners as donors/ Of spermatozoa to squirminem.

A court via video saw A rambler appear in the raw. His case was laid bare, The evidence there Revealing the ass that’s the law.

A Kent naked bike ride was marred/ When one pumped-up cyclist got barred. He manfully tried To cover his pride But finally found it too hard.

A motorist lost concentration/ And crashed due to preoccupation/ While using a toy/ She liked to employ/ For sexual gratification.

A fetishist priest had to beat it/ Because (though I hardly dare tweet it)/ Erotic confection/ Was his predilection/ He’d have his cake rather than eat it.

When plugging fiestas beware:/ Use online translation with care./ In Spain’s far northwest/ A turnip top fest/ Was billed as a clitoris fair.

Happy New Year – may 2016 bring more such glorious stories!

Mick Twister

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click.!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).
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