A man who was tailed by a porker/

Called cops in to deal with the stalker;/

The hog said: “You rotters,/

Don’t handcuff my trotters -/

He’s just an unsociable walker!”///

Which reminds me of an old poem which has many versions. This is how I remember it:

One evening in October, when I was far from sober,

And carrying my load with manly pride

My feet began to stutter, so I lay down in the gutter,

And a pig came up and lay down by my side.

As we lay there in the gutter, thinking words we couldn’t utter

A lady passing by was heard to say:

“You can tell a chap who boozes, by the company he chooses”.

And the pig got up, and slowly walked away.