A man who was tailed by a porker/
Called cops in to deal with the stalker;/
The hog said: “You rotters,/
Don’t handcuff my trotters -/
He’s just an unsociable walker!”///
Which reminds me of an old poem which has many versions. This is how I remember it:
One evening in October, when I was far from sober,
And carrying my load with manly pride
My feet began to stutter, so I lay down in the gutter,
And a pig came up and lay down by my side.
As we lay there in the gutter, thinking words we couldn’t utter
A lady passing by was heard to say:
“You can tell a chap who boozes, by the company he chooses”.
And the pig got up, and slowly walked away.