Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Papal Bull

Posted on March 28, 2012 by twitmericks

A very old man in Havana The Vatican’s own top banana Said Marx lacked reality And rationality (This from the priest of arcana). http://edition.cnn.com/2012/03/28/world/americas/cuba-pope-visit/

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Fuel-ish Advice

Posted on March 28, 2012 by twitmericks

A minister named Francis Maude Advised petrol-buyers to hoard But experts disparage The use of a garage When flammable stuff’s being stored. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/energy/fuel/9171925/Panic-buying-begins-at-petrol-stations-after-dangerous-government-strike-advice.html (Apologies to readers for whom rhyming Mawd with Hoarrrd is a stretch).  

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Hasty Pasty Tax Turns into Hot Potato

Posted on March 28, 2012 by twitmericks

There once was a man with a tax Which he levied on takeaway snacks But only when warm It’s a half-baked reform That apparently nobody backs. http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/mar/28/pasty-tax-pm-seeks-heat-hot-pie-row?newsfeed=true

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Lust in Showbiz

Posted on March 28, 2012 by twitmericks

There once was an old rutting chimp Now suspected of being a pimp To his lawyer it’s just Poor old DSK’s lust An excuse many find a bit limp. http://www.independent.ie/world-news/europe/dsks-crime-is-being-lustful-lawyer-3063083.html (and for the ‘chimp’ reference…) http://www.slate.com/articles/life/doonan/2012/03/dsk_questioned_about_orgies_how_can_you_tell_whether_a_woman_is_a_prostitute_.html

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Guess Who’s Profiting from Dinner?

Posted on March 27, 2012 by twitmericks

The donors at No 10 dinners Were not economics beginners As well as the access They got lower taxes So who does that leave as the winners? http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/mar/26/david-cameron-private-dinners-tory-donors?newsfeed=true

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Titanic Director Plumbs Depths Again

Posted on March 26, 2012 by twitmericks

  The man who directed Titanic/Is once again suboceanic/To be more specific/Beneath the Pacific/Much deeper than is the Atlannic.

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Wade A Loser

Posted on March 26, 2012 by twitmericks

An old man from old Senegal/Found pride came before his own fall/His final rejection/In Sunday’s election/Ensures that 2 terms will be all.

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Farewell Jocky on the Oche

Posted on March 25, 2012 by twitmericks

There was an old fellow named Jocky A TV celeb on the oche He won viewers’ hearts With his talent at darts Despite being shortish and stocky. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/othersports/darts/9165694/Jocky-Wilson-a-colourful-life-at-the-oche-in-pictures.html

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Peter Kebabbed over Donors

Posted on March 25, 2012 by twitmericks

Peter Cruddas, we now understand Charged donors a few hundred grand To meet Dave at dinner A top moneyspinner But one that is actually banned. http://www.google.com/hostednews/ukpress/article/ALeqM5j3BPoq5iXDIAf8Tx4GOkNy20ZdbA?docId=N0085691332630039052A

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Gun Law

Posted on March 24, 2012 by twitmericks

A neighbourhood watch volunteer Said he took a young life out of fear A manifest flaw In Floridian law Leaves the pathway to justice unclear

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