twitmericks

As chargers were hacked to show porn,/
The council was driven to warn/
Those filling with juice/
Against the abuse/
Of gearsticks, and blows on the horn.///

https://t.co/6JhyCiyZ0N

While Rishi the chancellor whacks/
An increase on other folks’ tax,/
Non-domiciled status/
Ensures zero rate is/
Applied to the family stacks.///

https://t.co/fHENH2X5AJ

Mycology experts have found/
A structure of cells underground/
Allowing humungous/
Great networks of fungus/
To chat (and dispute, I’ll be bound).///

https://t.co/Rtmxb5yOqM

Ex-ethics chief Helen was queen/
Of Downing Street’s underground scene,/
They banned us from singing/
Then cheered her for bringing/
The works karaoke machine.///

https://t.co/C2Ky1Gngfy

No reason to panic, keep cool/
And trust in the people who rule,/
As heating costs rocket/
And burn through your pocket,/
They’ll see you’re OK. April fuel!///

https://t.co/mBHNMX9EoG

Old Rishi said don’t fund the Russians,/
But when people said in discussions/
“You mean, like your wife?”,/
Said “Don’t give me strife!”/
And sought to prevent repercussions.///

https://t.co/g97tKP0BAt

The Oscar night comic, Chris Rock,/
Does gags on occasion that shock,/
But after he made a/
Mean joke about Jada,/
Will jumped up and gave him a sock.///

https://t.co/wVtfCyMWRw

Dear Boris, the war in Ukraine,/
Is nothing like Leave v Remain./
Be less of a knob,/
When opening gob,/
Through prior engagement of brain.///

https://t.co/bgDKLrSEfC

A driver stoned out of his tree/
Showed cops diplomatic ID/
But to his surprise/
They don’t recognise/
The Mobile Republic of Me.///

https://t.co/VaxVH1GVRh

There was an old P&O boss/
Who said “As we’re making a loss,/
We’re sacking you all/
By video call,/
And frankly we don’t give a toss”.///

https://t.co/qH7UD9CMjb