twitmericks

Dear Boris, the war in Ukraine,/
Is nothing like Leave v Remain./
Be less of a knob,/
When opening gob,/
Through prior engagement of brain.///

https://t.co/bgDKLrSEfC

A driver stoned out of his tree/
Showed cops diplomatic ID/
But to his surprise/
They don’t recognise/
The Mobile Republic of Me.///

https://t.co/VaxVH1GVRh

There was an old P&O boss/
Who said “As we’re making a loss,/
We’re sacking you all/
By video call,/
And frankly we don’t give a toss”.///

https://t.co/qH7UD9CMjb

A logo produced in Australia/
Was dropped after proving a falia/
When women opined/
The emblem designed/
Resembled the male genitalia.///

https://t.co/08PeAzq90u

Research has been published revealing/
The pattern of grunting and squealing/
Produced by a pig/
Allows us to dig/
The animal’s innermost feeling.///

https://t.co/wWs4k5pQMR

A leader who takes us for schmucks/
Says Washington’s spending big bucks/
On labs from which germs,/
The Kremlin affirms,/
Are spread by migratory ducks./

https://t.co/i4gMJv3Swe

John Bercow, ex-parliament speaker,/
Floor-crossing publicity-seeker/
And question-awarder/
Is now called to order/
For bullying those seen as weaker.///

https://t.co/xEHNFtB2UE

A woman who was to be wed/
Pulled out over being misled,/
The match being ended/
Because her intended/
Was lacking in hair on his head.///

https://t.co/Ij80qs5tTR

Ukrainians menaced by Putin,/
Escaping from missiles and shooting,/
Form queues at the borders/
As Britain gives orders/
To let those prepared to pick fruit in.///

https://t.co/bJaqU2Nmun

As ministers try to ignore/
Donations from Russians galore,/
Defence Sec Ben Wallace/
Attempts to seek solace/
By citing the Crimean War.///

https://t.co/PexJgI30dq
https://t.co/vE6sNOKADW