twitmericks

Three fellows, Jack, Martin and Dan/
Resigned, and must carry the can/
So Big Dog who raved,/
He hopes, can be saved/
From Big Dogshit hitting the fan.///

https://t.co/zBBEZhz40d

While Johnson continues to cavil,/
His slur about Starmer and Savile/
Has lost him Munira,/
The post-Boris era/
Approaching as networks unravel.///

https://t.co/V1kKSV0up6

Some postal staff working in Clapham/
Found hash cakes, so rather than scrap ’em,/
They took a few bites/
And got high as kites,/
For which their employer will rap ’em.///

https://t.co/ezvhCEEOWk

In Sweden they’re teaching the crow,/
A very smart bird, as we know,/
To pick up the butts/
Some species of klutz/
Named human can’t learn not to throw.///

https://t.co/k1UVdT9L8n

In Peckham they’re chilling the bubbly,/
They don’t mind if Del Boy’s in trouble, ‘e/
Got hold of some plates/
To sell to his mates/
To mark the Queen’s luvverly Jubbly!/

https://t.co/poHYgQBDWk

A software developer, Josh,/
Said “Gracious, my word, golly gosh!/
The Times buying Wordle/
Means this clever nerd’ll/
Come into a whole load of dosh!”///

https://t.co/wuKUXa6WRa

“Joe’s podcast”, said Neil, “is baloney,/
With stuff about vaccines that’s phony,/
So I’m thinking wotify/
Pull out of Spotify?”/
“Let’s do it, right on!”, agreed Joni.///

https://t.co/WaZGqnDtm3

An old man pulled up at the shops/
Had driven untaxed, he told cops,/
His whole life in Nottingham/
With nobody spotting ‘im,/
Unlicensed, with no police stops.///

https://t.co/P2S9bWEJ7T

A pal says give Johnson a break,/
His future should not be at stake,/
For this celebration/
Lacked premeditation -/
They ambushed the man with a cake!///

https://t.co/xxHciZ4ik6

When hippos hear songs being sung/
In some unfamiliar tongue/
Then sensing the danger,/
They tackle the stranger/
Arse-on, with a shower of dung.///

https://t.co/tObXPVFHJw