twitmericks

A sportswoman feeling distress/

Refused to play ball with the press;/

This made her a menace/

To those running tennis,/

Who seemingly couldn’t care less.///

A chap with a senior perch/
Left more than one lass in the lurch/
Yet managed to marry/
His latest squeeze, Carrie,/
Somehow, in a Catholic church./

https://t.co/UrLioMwYyE

An anchor reported the death/
Of he who wrote Hamlet, Macbeth,/
And more plays and sonnets./
Though sad Shakespeare’s gone it’s/
Four hundred years since he drew breath.///

https://t.co/AOomDu6Skn

When Johnson was passing the hat/
To fund renovating his flat/
He hadn’t a clue/
Who’d pay, but he knew/
It wouldn’t be off his own bat.///

https://t.co/1Zfi7qLnNM

There is an adventurous fox/
Who, when opportunity knocks,/
Will enter, unseen,/
Your washing machine/
(Explaining the absence of socks).///

https://t.co/Hgco27Ekvv

When red-handed tamarins stray/
Near where their pied counterparts stay,/
They alter their vocals/
To sound like the locals,/
Lest accent should give them away.///

https://t.co/XIcXO3eU7B

A Johnson adviser who quit/
Attests the PM is unfit,/
The morons who rule us/
Are utterly clueless,/
And Hancock is culpably shit./

https://t.co/gqqkwIwOXx

In Bedford and Burnley and places/
Considered as Covid-hit spaces/
Unlocking’s on ice/
In secret advice/
Dispensed on a ‘need to know basis’./

https://t.co/5XofaYQODM

An old man in Minsk had a plan/
To capture a dissident man/
By faking a threat,/
Diverting a jet,/
Then watching the shit hit the fan.///

https://t.co/8NdiauTJVl

A dealer in smack, crack and Es/
Whom coppers were able to seize/
Wound up in the nick/
For posting a pic -/
A shot of his favourite cheese.///

https://t.co/JG2ccWgyKj