twitmericks

The UK decision to knock down
The structures erected for lockdown
Was done in defiance
Of what’s called “the science”,
As #CumGate sent Boris’s stock down.

https://t.co/Orxn9udTjA

An Aussie broom-fetishist paid
Two men to attack in a raid,
Then moved on the sly,
So some random guy
Awoke to the sight of a blade.

https://t.co/oDzHOhAmu2

An angry old fellow on Twitter
Got terribly vengeful and bitter
And threatened to close
The platform that chose
To warn us the guy’s a bullshitter.

https://t.co/MOMPuYLT9l

A man Johnson pays to advise

Is hoping we all empathise

That while we stayed in,

He went for a spin

To Teesdale – a sight for sore eyes.

///https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/1264985889127772160

The distance to keep is three fridges,
Which equals a thousand-odd midges
A tall bloke called Gus,
One sixth of a bus
Or 0.01 London Bridges.

#threefridges
#SocialDistancing

https://t.co/DXy1nkiin4

A quizzer lost out, very sadly,
On grounds of pronouncing so badly
The Spands singer’s name,
But who backed his claim?
The fellow himself, Tony Hadley.

#tonyhadley
#Singapore
#quiz

https://t.co/SaDC5tNVd6

A good way to lighten the gloom
When stuck in a tedious Zoom,
Or such workplace meeting,
Where everyone’s bleating,
Is add a real goat to the room.

#goats
#zoom

https://t.co/Yncydd2jx9

An old woman citing the Bible/

Sued gay people, holding them liable/

For global malaise;/

The judge backed the gays,/

And ruled her complaint was not viable.///

A leader who pushes a drug,/

In order to ward off a bug,/

Which he claims is great/

But doctors don’t rate,/

Is scamming, or else he’s a mug.///