To finish my limerick review of the year, here are a few of the weird and wacky stories that made me laugh at some point. If there’s a common thread running through them, I guess it’s sex. Links follow to remind you of the stories.
In Egypt the generals keep tabs/
On HIV using kebabs./
A chap from the army/
Says though it sounds barmy/
It’s cheaper than treatment with jabs.
///http://www.cairoscene.com/ViewArticle.aspx?AId=2526
***
Max Clifford, whose penis is short/
(Or so many sources report)/
Won’t long be at large -/
A sex assault charge/
The one thing that stood up in court.
///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-27192600
***
A man who was naked and keen/
Got stuck in a washing-machine/
Some best extra virgin/
Soon saw him emergin’/
Well-oiled but impeccably clean.
///http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jan/06/rescuers-use-olive-oil-to-extract-naked-man-from-washing-machine
***
Police say a fellow from Philly/
Enjoys putting cheese on his willy./
The use of fromage/
For public frottage,/
They warn, is illegal and silly.
///http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/01/12/swiss-cheese-pervert_n_4585399.html?1389546716
***
A man with a slurry fixation/
For sexual gratification/
Is down on his luck,/
His passion for muck/
Resulting in incarceration.
///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cornwall-27643702
***
A feather-clad artist in France/
Was fined for performing a dance/
Intended to shock/
In which a live cock/
Was tied to the end of his lance.///
***
A man from the States to his shock/
Got stuck in a crack in a rock/
Wedged tight in a cranny/
Within a big fanny/
He must’ve felt rather a cock.
///http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/06/22/student-trapped-stone-vagina_n_5519718.html
***
A Florida woman professed/
To have a third boob on her chest/
But is the said mammary/
Merely flim-flammery?/
Time that she made a clean breast.
***
A zoo had two captive hyenas/
In theory from Mars and from Venus/
But efforts to breed/
Were not to succeed/
As each, it transpired, had a penis.
