To finish my limerick review of the year, here are a few of the weird and wacky stories that made me laugh at some point. If there’s a common thread running through them, I guess it’s sex. Links follow to remind you of the stories.
In Egypt the generals keep tabs/
On HIV using kebabs./
A chap from the army/
Says though it sounds barmy/
It’s cheaper than treatment with jabs.
Max Clifford, whose penis is short/
(Or so many sources report)/
Won’t long be at large -/
A sex assault charge/
The one thing that stood up in court.
A man who was naked and keen/
Got stuck in a washing-machine/
Some best extra virgin/
Soon saw him emergin’/
Well-oiled but impeccably clean.
Police say a fellow from Philly/
Enjoys putting cheese on his willy./
The use of fromage/
For public frottage,/
They warn, is illegal and silly.
A man with a slurry fixation/
For sexual gratification/
Is down on his luck,/
His passion for muck/
Resulting in incarceration.
A feather-clad artist in France/
Was fined for performing a dance/
Intended to shock/
In which a live cock/
Was tied to the end of his lance.///
A man from the States to his shock/
Got stuck in a crack in a rock/
Wedged tight in a cranny/
Within a big fanny/
He must’ve felt rather a cock.
A Florida woman professed/
To have a third boob on her chest/
But is the said mammary/
Time that she made a clean breast.
A zoo had two captive hyenas/
In theory from Mars and from Venus/
But efforts to breed/
Were not to succeed/
As each, it transpired, had a penis.