2014 in Review 4 – Funny Old World

To finish my limerick review of the year, here are a few of the weird and wacky stories that made me laugh at some point. If there’s a common thread running through them, I guess it’s sex. Links follow to remind you of the stories.

In Egypt the generals keep tabs/

On HIV using kebabs./

A chap from the army/

Says though it sounds barmy/

It’s cheaper than treatment with jabs.



Max Clifford, whose penis is short/

(Or so many sources report)/

Won’t long be at large -/

A sex assault charge/

The one thing that stood up in court.



A man who was naked and keen/

Got stuck in a washing-machine/

Some best extra virgin/

Soon saw him emergin’/

Well-oiled but impeccably clean.



Police say a fellow from Philly/

Enjoys putting cheese on his willy./

The use of fromage/

For public frottage,/

They warn, is illegal and silly.



A man with a slurry fixation/

For sexual gratification/

Is down on his luck,/

His passion for muck/

Resulting in incarceration.



A feather-clad artist in France/

Was fined for performing a dance/

Intended to shock/

In which a live cock/

Was tied to the end of his lance.///



A man from the States to his shock/

Got stuck in a crack in a rock/

Wedged tight in a cranny/

Within a big fanny/

He must’ve felt rather a cock.



A Florida woman professed/

To have a third boob on her chest/

But is the said mammary/

Merely flim-flammery?/

Time that she made a clean breast.

/// http://www.tampabay.com/news/bizarre/tampa-woman-says-she-has-three-breasts-despite-evidence-to-the-contrary/2199074


A zoo had two captive hyenas/

In theory from Mars and from Venus/

But efforts to breed/

Were not to succeed/

As each, it transpired, had a penis.

/// http://i100.independent.co.uk/article/the-awkward-reason-why-a-zoo-couldnt-breed-two-hyenas–eJUXp8JqBe



About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).
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