Our House… in the Middle of our Road

Posted on November 23, 2012 by twitmericks

There was an old couple in China/

Who felt their home couldnt be finer/

But having now found/

A highway all round/

They may have to open a diner.

///http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/cndy/2012-11/23/content_15952350.htm

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Systems of Mursi

Posted on November 23, 2012 by twitmericks

There once was a leading Egyptian/

Who broadened his own job description/

Increasing his sway/

And opponents now say/

He followed Mubarak’s prescription.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-20458148

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Hall Answers the Call

Posted on November 22, 2012 by twitmericks

There was an old fellow named Hall/

Who got an emergency call/

To be the DG/

Of the old BBC/

Left vacant by Entwistle’s fall.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-20451825

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I Don’t Want to Go to Chelsea

Posted on November 22, 2012 by twitmericks

There is a new boss of the Blues/

Or so I just read in the news/

Roman has made Rafa/

The new Chelsea gaffer/

(Until the next time that they lose).

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/20444482

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Type Cast

Posted on November 21, 2012 by twitmericks

There was a typewriter from Wales/

That suffered from plummeting sales/

The company Brother/

Will not make another/

(Until new technology fails).

///http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/11/21/brother_last_uk_typewriter/

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What The Flock?

Posted on November 20, 2012 by twitmericks

There once was an old C of E/

That rebuffed its new archbishop’s plea/

The synodal laity/

Reckons the deity/

Can’t bear a she in a see.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-20415689

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Croatian Incarceration

Posted on November 20, 2012 by twitmericks

There was an old man from Zagreb/

Once PM and quite a celeb/

For this top Croatian/

His incarceration/

Undoubtedly marks a low ebb.

///http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/nov/20/croatia-jails-ivo-sanader-bribes

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Give a Dog a Transplant

Posted on November 19, 2012 by twitmericks

There once was a paralysed dog/

That science enabled to jog/

Some cells that it grows/

In its sensitive nose/

Were moved to its spine. I’m agog.

///http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/9687253/Hope-for-the-paralysed-as-dogs-helped-to-walk-again.html

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Why DJ Felt a Right Tit

Posted on November 17, 2012 by twitmericks

There was an old radio jock/

Who wanted to put back the clock/

To when you might squeeze/

Any boobs that you please/

And not finish up in the dock.

///http://www.itv.com/news/update/2012-11-16/dlt-i-have-been-accused-of-squeezing-womens-breasts/

Disclaimers:

1) Any similarity between characters referenced in this limerick and actual real living people is entirely coincidental.

2) Also, I’m not actually saying it was OK to grope people at will back then.

 

 

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Jailhouse Crockery

Posted on November 16, 2012 by twitmericks

A furniture firm named IKEA/

Said forced labour was not its idea/

But one’s money went far/

In the old GDR/

Perhaps they should try North Korea.

///http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2012/nov/16/ikea-regrets-forced-labour-germany

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