Sugar Not So Sweet

Posted on April 19, 2012 by twitmericks

 

Lord Sugar, a Labourite peer/

Is backing a Tory, I hear

/So possibly when/

He says not to vote Ken/

“You’re Fired!” should be yelled in his ear.

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Mayday!

Posted on April 19, 2012 by twitmericks

A minister called Mrs May/

Discovered that to her dismay/

She’d misread the date/

So it isn’t too late/

And Qatada may yet have his day.

//

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/theresa-may-forced-to-explain-abu-qatada-delay-7660167.html

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Don’t Stand by Your Man

Posted on April 18, 2012 by twitmericks

Damascene lass Asma Assad ‘as/

Been told by the wives of ambassadors/

To sort out her man/

And get with the plan/

As Syria gets yet more hazardous.

//

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/video-un-wives-call-on-asma-assad-to-intervene-in-syria-crisis-7657831.html

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Fucking Residents Ponder Changing Fucking Name

Posted on April 18, 2012 by twitmericks

There is a small village named Fucking/

A title they’re looking at chucking/

I call it a shame/To lose such a name/

So Fuckingers, just keep on trucking.

//

 

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/fucking-village-told-they-cant-be-renamed-798433

 

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The Reign in Spain Goes Hunting on the Plain

Posted on April 18, 2012 by twitmericks

There was an old monarch from Spain/

Who found conservation a pain/

But he injured his hip/

On a game-hunting trip/

And swore not to do it again.

//

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-17752983

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Man of Straw

Posted on April 18, 2012 by twitmericks

The former Home Minister Straw/

Himself may have broken the law/

By giving permission/

For dodgy rendition/

Which MI6 then oversaw.

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His Crimes are Legion

Posted on April 17, 2012 by twitmericks

A murdering Nazi Norwegian/

At war against social cohesion/

Improbably claims/

Some support for his aims/

From a mythical Knight Templar Legion.

//

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/norway/9209977/I-would-have-done-it-again-Anders-Breivik-claims-his-massacre-was-motivated-by-goodness-not-evil.html

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One Stroke and You’re Out

Posted on April 17, 2012 by twitmericks

A young rugby player from Wales/

Came out with the oddest of tales/

The ex-not-gay bloke/

Says after a stroke/

He found himself fancying males.

//

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-17703018

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Fracking About

Posted on April 17, 2012 by twitmericks

The government’s given its backing/

To shale extraction or fracking/

A few minor quakes/

They say no great shakes/

As it’s only Lancashire cracking.

//

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-17726538

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Pimp Your Wimple

Posted on April 16, 2012 by twitmericks

There one was a dirty old man/

Mr Silvio B from Milan/

Whose idea of fun/

Was a strippagram nun/

(According to model Imane). 

///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-17730777

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