Papal Bull

Posted on March 28, 2012 by twitmericks

A very old man in Havana

The Vatican’s own top banana

Said Marx lacked reality

And rationality

(This from the priest of arcana).

http://edition.cnn.com/2012/03/28/world/americas/cuba-pope-visit/

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Fuel-ish Advice

Posted on March 28, 2012 by twitmericks

A minister named Francis Maude

Advised petrol-buyers to hoard

But experts disparage

The use of a garage

When flammable stuff’s being stored.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/energy/fuel/9171925/Panic-buying-begins-at-petrol-stations-after-dangerous-government-strike-advice.html

(Apologies to readers for whom rhyming Mawd with Hoarrrd is a stretch).

 

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Hasty Pasty Tax Turns into Hot Potato

Posted on March 28, 2012 by twitmericks

There once was a man with a tax

Which he levied on takeaway snacks

But only when warm

It’s a half-baked reform

That apparently nobody backs.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/mar/28/pasty-tax-pm-seeks-heat-hot-pie-row?newsfeed=true

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Lust in Showbiz

Posted on March 28, 2012 by twitmericks

There once was an old rutting chimp

Now suspected of being a pimp

To his lawyer it’s just

Poor old DSK’s lust

An excuse many find a bit limp.

http://www.independent.ie/world-news/europe/dsks-crime-is-being-lustful-lawyer-3063083.html

(and for the ‘chimp’ reference…)

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/doonan/2012/03/dsk_questioned_about_orgies_how_can_you_tell_whether_a_woman_is_a_prostitute_.html

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Guess Who’s Profiting from Dinner?

Posted on March 27, 2012 by twitmericks

The donors at No 10 dinners

Were not economics beginners

As well as the access

They got lower taxes

So who does that leave as the winners?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/mar/26/david-cameron-private-dinners-tory-donors?newsfeed=true

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Titanic Director Plumbs Depths Again

Posted on March 26, 2012 by twitmericks

 

The man who directed Titanic/Is once again suboceanic/To be more specific/Beneath the Pacific/Much deeper than is the Atlannic.

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Wade A Loser

Posted on March 26, 2012 by twitmericks

An old man from old Senegal/Found pride came before his own fall/His final rejection/In Sunday’s election/Ensures that 2 terms will be all.

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Farewell Jocky on the Oche

Posted on March 25, 2012 by twitmericks

There was an old fellow named Jocky

A TV celeb on the oche

He won viewers’ hearts

With his talent at darts

Despite being shortish and stocky.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/othersports/darts/9165694/Jocky-Wilson-a-colourful-life-at-the-oche-in-pictures.html

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Peter Kebabbed over Donors

Posted on March 25, 2012 by twitmericks

Peter Cruddas, we now understand

Charged donors a few hundred grand

To meet Dave at dinner

A top moneyspinner

But one that is actually banned.

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ukpress/article/ALeqM5j3BPoq5iXDIAf8Tx4GOkNy20ZdbA?docId=N0085691332630039052A

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Gun Law

Posted on March 24, 2012 by twitmericks

A neighbourhood watch volunteer
Said he took a young life out of fear
A manifest flaw
In Floridian law
Leaves the pathway to justice unclear

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