twitmericks

The man who cocked up test and trace/
Could still avoid total disgrace,/
Although fucking hopeless,/
If he can just grope less, /

Observing the guide “Hands, arse, space”.///

Matt Hancock, though hugging was banned,/

Took Gina’s arse firmly in hand,/

But Boris, the shagger,/

Can’t give Matt the dagger,/

The blond clearly leading the bland.///

According to president Viktor,/
The LGBT rights restriktor,/
In earlier days/
He fought to help gays,/
Who now he is being a diktor.///

https://t.co/vx7lMUagkR

An expert who studies the Bard/
Received an approach in regard/
To writing a book/
For Johnson, who took/
The money, but finds it too hard.///

https://t.co/GibJeigNHr

A predator fish on a foray/
Inspired a New York Times storay:/
“When an eel climbs a ramp/
To eat squid from a clamp”,/
The headline declared, “that’s a moray”.///

https://t.co/UosS27fXQ7

The voters of Chesham in Bucks/
Decided this government sucks/
And voted Lib Dem,/
The Tories, to them,/
Appearing to give zero fucks.///

https://t.co/inBWxFkV41

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks,/
But this one got bored chasing sticks/
And found a new toy/
So perfect, oh boy!/
He grinned like a dog with two dicks.///

https://t.co/RoxXWe7FGa

Dom Cummings, that vengeful old chap,/
Showed messages sent on WhatsApp/
By Johnson, no less,/
That plainly express/
The view that Matt Hancock is crap.///

https://t.co/6BoKQXDZax

Ronaldo made clear what he thinks/
Of sponsors with sugary drinks,/
Suggesting we oughta/
Just drink bottled water/
And not Coca-cola, which stinks.///

https://t.co/Oz22awlKPw

A fisherman, 56, male,/
Was swallowed alive by a whale./
Leviathan spewed,/
Ejecting the dude,/
Who therefore can tell us his tale.///

https://t.co/9JFNvcdKv5