twitmericks

If ever a ship blocks the Suez/
It’s clear that the right thing to do is/
Get lots of small boats/
And pull till it floats,/
While gasping at how big the queue is*.///

https://t.co/lPoL6OOUi3

*Alternative last line: “Then find somewhere else to do ueys”.

When Boris was mayor, he’d canoodle/
With Jen, who took government boodle,/
But now scorned Arcuri,/
Though lacking in fury,/
Calls Johnson a cowardly noodle.///

https://t.co/gHBUFaPx4W

The latest Home Office defence/
Of 80-odd grand of expense/
To Beautiful Brows,/
Which bought, it avows,/
Some PPE, makes little sense.///

https://t.co/sAC86hlSzP

In case you should happen to see a/
Road runner-like bird called a rhea/
And ask, at a loss,/
But why Maple Cross?/
We don’t have the faintest idea.///

https://t.co/AUceSGGLWb

A milk-wielding Tory waxed drastic,/
Bombastic and iconoclastic,/
Protesting full throttle,/
But though he’s got bottle,/
It seems to be made out of plastic.///

https://t.co/e0oA8ZhufP

The reason a ship ran aground/
In Suez, observers have found,/
And left others trapped in/
Its wake, was the captain/
Apparently dicking around.////

https://t.co/aQrg9HVf3F

A panda pair put on a date/
Surprisingly manage to mate -/
He overachieves,/
And eats, shoots and leaves/
Not one time this weekend, but eight!///

https://t.co/lGf2CChNYj

There was an old fellow named Dave/
Who lobbied pal Rishi to save/
A bank from collapse,/
Suggesting perhaps/
The rules were a thing one might waive./

https://t.co/IVEqRqwE8i

The Horniman found a crustacean/
It thinks hitched a lift to this nation/
On rocks long ago,/
And went on to show/
Impressively fast procreation./

https://t.co/JfGjz8mRbd

The new cryptocurrency mart,/
Non-fungible tokens for art,/
Led one canny vendor/
To offer for tender/
A digital stake in a fart./

https://t.co/6tDXiODbY1