twitmericks

Aviva is getting some stick
For taking the actual mick –
Its mailout recycles
A letter for Michaels
To every Tom, Harry or Dick.

#aviva #Michael

https://t.co/CAtutvxjhf

Top clergymen say do not bed/

Your partner unless straight and wed,/

Provoking a clash/

As churchgoers bash/

Their bishops, and slam what they said.///

There once was a man who’d employ/

His talents to bring the world joy:/

In women’s attire,/

“He’s not the Messiah”,/

He shrieked, “He’s a very naughty boy!”*///

*Apologies for the extra syllable in the last line. I’m normally strict on metre, but I felt a little leeway could be allowed here.

Said Donald, a consummate liar
With form as a climate denier,
Those prophets of doom
Just keep spreading gloom!
Said Greta, the world is on fire.

#DavosToday
#WEF20
#GretaThurnberg
#Trump
#WEFDavos

https://t.co/1l4X5tywHK

American forces in space
Have suffered severe loss of face
From camouflage gear
Which some people fear
Will look, with no trees, out of place.

#spacecamo
#SpaceFarce
#SpaceForce

https://t.co/rURFDB5Mgh

A boxer was heard to insist
The action is all in the wrist –
By beating his meat
On endless repeat,
He’s practising hard with one fist.

#tysonfury
#furywilder2

https://t.co/43R1wM3Iu8

The UK PM recommends
The nation through crowdfunding spends
A cool half a million
On Big Ben’s carillion
For Brexit, or else… the bell ends!

#bigbenbongs
#BorisJohnson

https://t.co/CRa1lPqGGX

A princeling whose grandma’s the Queen
Declared: ‘We’re not into that scene’;
The palace snapped: ‘Harry,
Whoever you marry,
You can’t quit the royal machine’.

#HarryandMeghan
#PrinceHarry
#royals
#Harrymeghan

https://t.co/671bxTEfig

A papal trip seemingly wrecks
Italians’ enjoyment of sex –
Libidos all wilt
From Catholic guilt
And noone for weeks even necks.

https://t.co/LVRKFBTdav