Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Little Jack Warner Fighting His Corner

Posted on June 4, 2015 by twitmericks

Ex-FIFA Vice-President Warner/ Fights back like a rat in a corner/ And threatens to name/ The others to blame/ For he’s not the only suborner./// http://www.theguardian.com/football/2015/jun/04/fifa-crisis-jack-warner-says-he-fears-for-life-and-will-reveal-avalanche-of-secrets Ex-FIFA Vice-President WarnerFights back like a rat in a cornerAnd threatens to nameThe others … Continue reading →

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Honourable Member

Posted on June 3, 2015 by twitmericks

A Danish man up for election/ Has courted the voters’ affection/ By taking a pic/ Exposing his dick/ And causing its general erection*./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/john-erik-wagner-the-danish-man-using-his-penis-on-election-posters-in-copenhagen-to-convince-voters-to-make-him-prime-minister-10291574.html A Danish man up for electionHas courted the voters' affectionBy taking a picExposing his dickAnd causing … Continue reading →

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Sepp Away

Posted on June 3, 2015 by twitmericks

There was an old fellow named Sepp/ Whose steadily worsening rep/ Made rendering briefer/ His tenure at FIFA/ A quite unavoidable step./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/fifa-corruption-probe-sepp-blatter-is-being-investigated-by-fbi-claims-report-10293216.html There was an old fellow named SeppWhose steadily worsening repMade rendering brieferHis tenure at FIFAA quite unavoidable … Continue reading →

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A Noisy Noise Annoys

Posted on June 2, 2015 by twitmericks

A judge jailed a woman she said/ Was being too rowdy in bed./ The neighbours averred/ The noise could be heard/ So loud it might waken the dead./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-32961127 A judge jailed a woman she saidWas being too rowdy in … Continue reading →

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Punctured Pride

Posted on June 2, 2015 by twitmericks

A Kent naked bike ride was marred/ When one pumped-up cyclist got barred. He manfully tried To cover his pride But finally found it too hard./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/man-on-naked-bike-ride-gets-ejected-after-becoming-aroused-10288167.html A Kent naked bike race was marredWhen one pumped-up fellow got barred.He manfully … Continue reading →

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Jack the Lad

Posted on June 1, 2015 by twitmericks

An Arsenal player named Jack/ Is getting a wee bit of flak/ For singing rude slurs/ On rival club Spurs/ Implying resemblance to kack./// http://www.theguardian.com/football/2015/may/31/arsenal-wilshere-anti-spurs-victory-parade An Arsenal player named JackIs getting a wee bit of flakFor singing rude slursOn rival … Continue reading →

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Septic Sepp

Posted on May 28, 2015 by twitmericks

Said FIFA head honcho Sepp Blatter/ “Corruption’s a serious matter./ So should I resign/ Or pour some more wine?/ On balance I favour the latter”./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-32923104 Said FIFA head honcho Sepp BlatterCorruption's a serious matter.So should I resignOr pour some … Continue reading →

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FIFA Officials Caught Offside

Posted on May 27, 2015 by twitmericks

The Zurich police made a raid/ Suspecting that millions paid/ To highups at FIFA/ May just be a fee for/ Their votes on where cups’ll be played./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-32895048 The Zurich police made a raidSuspecting that millions paidTo highups at FIFAMay … Continue reading →

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Eire Gets Fairer

Posted on May 23, 2015 by twitmericks

The Irish have now had their say/ From Dublin to Donegal Bay/ A motion was carried/ That folks can get married/ No matter if straight or if gay./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-32856232 The Irish have now had their sayFrom Dublin to Donegal BayA … Continue reading →

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Hairy Botter and the Philosopher’s Bone

Posted on May 21, 2015 by twitmericks

A character in Harry Potter/ Grew up and got notably hotter/ The Hufflebuff Neville/ Turned horny old devil/ Has shocked JK Rowling, the rotter./// http://www.buzzfeed.com/elliewoodward/harry-potter-twitter-bants-ftw#.peg5KK6y6 A character in Harry PotterGrew up and got notably hotterThe Hufflebuff NevilleTurned horny old devilHas … Continue reading →

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