Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Fork That!

Posted on August 19, 2013 by twitmericks

There was an old boy from Australia/ Who loved kitchen paraphernalia/ A dining utensil/ Put lead in his pencil/ But stuck in the man’s genitalia./ http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/australasia/shocking-xray-doctors-remove-fork-from-penis-of-70yearold-australian-man-8774501.html https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/369541246051573760  

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Terror Error

Posted on August 19, 2013 by twitmericks

There was a young man from Brazil/ Detained at Heathrow by the Bill/ And held for 9 hours/ On terrorist powers/ So agents could give him a grill. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-23750289 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/369415619029909505 ****Mick Twister’s Book now available at http://www.amazon.co.uk/There-Was-Geezer-Called-Caesar/dp/1907554866/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1375432501&sr=8-1&keywords=mick+twister

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Why Did Di Die?

Posted on August 18, 2013 by twitmericks

There once was a British princess/ About whom some papers obsess./ For them it is manna/ To hear claims Diana/ Was killed by our own SAS. ///http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/theroyalfamily/10249663/Scotland-Yard-examines-new-information-on-death-of-Diana-Princess-of-Wales.html https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/369114814422863873

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Grey Area

Posted on August 17, 2013 by twitmericks

An area named 51/ Where top cold war projects were run/ Was hidden from view/ To build the U-2/ (No alien testing was done). ///http://www.space.com/22409-area-51-exists-declassified-documents.html https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/368720910926090241

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Booby Traps

Posted on August 16, 2013 by twitmericks

Explosive-packed implants in breasts/ May be the new suicide vests/ The booby-trapped tits/ Could blow us to bits/ Today’s Daily Mirror suggests./// http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/breast-implants-suicide-bomb-threat-2172911 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/368413762962726913

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Board Games

Posted on August 15, 2013 by twitmericks

An old UKIP man, Stuart Wheeler/ Who sees himself as a plain dealer/ Insists chess & poker/ Show what makes a bloke a/ Superior boss to a Sheila. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-23710890 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/368089032150241281  

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Secret Squirrel?

Posted on August 15, 2013 by twitmericks

A carnivore called olinguito/ That lives in a forest near Quito/ Has newly been found – / It’s long been around/ But wanted to stay incognito. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-23701150 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/368040149772300288

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Failure of Will

Posted on August 14, 2013 by twitmericks

There was an old woman whose will/ Bequeathed the UK half a mil/ Which Con and Lib Dem/ Decided meant them/ But now they’ve been given the bill. ///http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2013/aug/14/lib-dems-tories-bequest-joan-edwards https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/367666131244687360

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Cops and Knobbers

Posted on August 13, 2013 by twitmericks

A randy PC from Caerphilly/ Had sex on the job, which was silly./ He said I am armed/ But don’t be alarmed/ The thing in my pants is my willy. ///http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/gwent-police-criticised-unacceptable-handling-5700739 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/367313283704832001

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Ashes to Hashes

Posted on August 13, 2013 by twitmericks

There is an affair named the Ashes,/ A regular series of clashes/ Where England again/ Between spells of rain/ Have settled Australians’ hashes. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/23677243 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/367217486934327297

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