Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Horses for (inter)courses

Posted on October 21, 2012 by twitmericks

There once was a very fast nag/ Who had every race in the bag/ But though it seems funny/ He’ll make much more money/ By giving up racing to shag. ///http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2012/oct/20/frankel-wins-champion-stakes-ascot

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Whip Hand

Posted on October 21, 2012 by twitmericks

The loss of the Tory Chief Whip/ Shows Cameron losing his grip/ Caught up in a web/ By that little word pleb/ Ever since Andrew Mitchell let rip. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-20019761

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The Great Train Snobbery

Posted on October 19, 2012 by twitmericks

There once was an MP for Tatton/ Who paid standard fare & then sat on/ A seat up in 1st/ With Mitchell’s outburst/ It forms a familiar pattern. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-20008342

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Google in Doo-doo

Posted on October 19, 2012 by twitmericks

Google the king of the search/ Appears less secure on its perch/ Some fool jumped the gun/ With figures unspun/ & shares took a sickening lurch. /// http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2219751/Google-shares-suspended-20-drop-profits-accidentally-revealed-early.html

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No Room at the Inn

Posted on October 18, 2012 by twitmericks

A B&B owner in Cookham/ Won’t let rooms to gay men who book ’em/ She says God can’t bear/ A single-sex pair/ But a court said she oughta’ve took ’em. ///http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/oct/18/christian-gay-couple-ordered-pay-damages?newsfeed=true

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None so blind…

Posted on October 18, 2012 by twitmericks

A blind man in Chorley was floored/ When police took his stick for a sword/ The moral I find/ Is noone’s so blind/ As a cop with a taser who’s bored. ///http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/oct/17/police-taser-blind-man-stick?newsfeed=true

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Coffee Chain in Hot Water

Posted on October 17, 2012 by twitmericks

There was a hot beverage chain/ That thought it OK to abstain/ From payment of tax/ So profits could wax/ While other firms shouldered the pain. ///http://uk.reuters.com/article/2012/10/17/uk-britain-starbucks-tax-uk-idUKBRE89G0DC20121017

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Award for the Mantel-piece

Posted on October 17, 2012 by twitmericks

The 2012 Booker for fiction/ Went once more to Mantel’s depiction/ Of the scheming enforcer/ Behind the divorcer/ In Henry VIII’s jurisdiction. ///http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/hilary-mantel-wins-man-booker-1382926

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No Holds Barred

Posted on October 17, 2012 by twitmericks

Bubba the Love Sponge and Hulk/ (A wrestler renowned for his bulk)/ Fought over a vid/ Of what Mrs B did/ With Hogan, who’s now in a sulk. ///http://www.channel24.co.za/Gossip/News/Hulk-Hogan-leaked-own-sex-tape-Bubba-20121017

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McKinnon Winnin’

Posted on October 16, 2012 by twitmericks

There is a young hacker named Gary/ Who’ll now be permitted to tarry/ His mum’s opposition/ To his extradition/ Paid off, & she’s happy as Larry. ///http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/oct/16/gary-mckinnon-not-extradited-may?intcmp=239

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