Author Archives: twitmericks

Unknown's avatar

About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Life is for Quitters

Advice about health in the Lancet/ Is giving up fags may enhance it/ So women who quit/ Are more often fit/ You might be OK, but why chance it? ///http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/9637527/Women-who-quit-smoking-by-40-can-live-an-extra-decade.html

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Conviction Politician

There was an old man from Milan/ Who was given 4 years in the can/ He fiddled his tax/ And covered his tracks/ Till one day the shit hit the fan. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-20102215

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

The Rich Get Richer (And The Poor Get Children)

The fellow they call IDS/ Says poor people ought to breed less/ Gotta earn a few quid/ Before having a kid/ (Or send them up chimneys, I guess). ///The fellow they call IDS/Says poor people ought to breed less/Gotta earn … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Trump Card

There is an old fellow named Trump/ Apparently quite off his chump/ He’s offering piles/ For Obama’s old files/ To help Romney out on the stump. ///http://news.sky.com/story/1002207/trump-5m-for-obamas-school-travel-records

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Bettison Jettisoned (again)

A Yorkshireman known as Sir Norman/ Has handed his pass to the doorman/ He misled reporters/ By blaming supporters/ So quit as a senior lawman. ///http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/liverpool-news/local-news/2012/10/25/norman-bettison-finally-resigns-over-hillsborough-allegations-after-weeks-of-pressure-100252-32099851/

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Black and White vs Culler

There was an old badger named Brock/ Convicted of damaging stock/ Tho sentenced to death/ He lives to draw breath/ Rescued for now by the clock. ///http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/earthnews/9627975/Badger-cull-delayed-as-minister-blames-weather-and-Olympics.html

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Horses (& Bayonets) for Courses

Republican Mitt told Barack/ America suffered a lack/ Of ships for its forces./ Barack replied horses/ And bayonets too had dropped back. ///http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/arts-post/post/romney-saddled-with-horses-and-bayonets-meme/2012/10/23/7c340d3c-1d14-11e2-b647-bb1668e64058_blog.html

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Morgan’s Organ Trouble

An ex-Mirror editor, Piers/ Has been a bit naughty, one hears/ It’s alleged that his organ/ Hacked phones under Morgan/ I fear it’ll all end in tears. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-20036822

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Shock Verdict

Seven men who did not spot a quake/ Were jailed for their awful mistake/ But scientists fear/ There’s a precedent here/ For seismology’s no piece of cake. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-20025626

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Savile Row

There was an old fixer named Jim/ Exposed as a paedophile crim/ It looks like the Beeb’ll/ Regret being feeble/ By shelving a Newsnight on him. ///http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2012/oct/22/bbc-newsnight-jimmy-savile-scandal

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment