Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

Effing Ref

Posted on October 29, 2012 by twitmericks

A football team known as the Blues/ Whose captain’s been known to abuse/ & use the odd eff/ Accuses the ref/ Whose sending-offs helped it to lose. ///http://www.standard.co.uk/sport/football/ref-clattenburg-will-be-sacked-if-he-racially-abused-mikel-says-jeff-winter-8230274.html

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A Touch Obvious

Posted on October 28, 2012 by twitmericks

There is an old star of glam rock/ Whose arrest isn’t too big a shock/ As he sang Touch Me There/ Mr G, to be fair/ Always pointed direct at his (Twitter 140-character limit reached). ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-20114378

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Life is for Quitters

Posted on October 27, 2012 by twitmericks

Advice about health in the Lancet/ Is giving up fags may enhance it/ So women who quit/ Are more often fit/ You might be OK, but why chance it? ///http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/9637527/Women-who-quit-smoking-by-40-can-live-an-extra-decade.html

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Conviction Politician

Posted on October 26, 2012 by twitmericks

There was an old man from Milan/ Who was given 4 years in the can/ He fiddled his tax/ And covered his tracks/ Till one day the shit hit the fan. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-20102215

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The Rich Get Richer (And The Poor Get Children)

Posted on October 26, 2012 by twitmericks

The fellow they call IDS/ Says poor people ought to breed less/ Gotta earn a few quid/ Before having a kid/ (Or send them up chimneys, I guess). ///The fellow they call IDS/Says poor people ought to breed less/Gotta earn … Continue reading →

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Trump Card

Posted on October 25, 2012 by twitmericks

There is an old fellow named Trump/ Apparently quite off his chump/ He’s offering piles/ For Obama’s old files/ To help Romney out on the stump. ///http://news.sky.com/story/1002207/trump-5m-for-obamas-school-travel-records

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Bettison Jettisoned (again)

Posted on October 25, 2012 by twitmericks

A Yorkshireman known as Sir Norman/ Has handed his pass to the doorman/ He misled reporters/ By blaming supporters/ So quit as a senior lawman. ///http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/liverpool-news/local-news/2012/10/25/norman-bettison-finally-resigns-over-hillsborough-allegations-after-weeks-of-pressure-100252-32099851/

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Black and White vs Culler

Posted on October 24, 2012 by twitmericks

There was an old badger named Brock/ Convicted of damaging stock/ Tho sentenced to death/ He lives to draw breath/ Rescued for now by the clock. ///http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/earthnews/9627975/Badger-cull-delayed-as-minister-blames-weather-and-Olympics.html

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Horses (& Bayonets) for Courses

Posted on October 23, 2012 by twitmericks

Republican Mitt told Barack/ America suffered a lack/ Of ships for its forces./ Barack replied horses/ And bayonets too had dropped back. ///http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/arts-post/post/romney-saddled-with-horses-and-bayonets-meme/2012/10/23/7c340d3c-1d14-11e2-b647-bb1668e64058_blog.html

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Morgan’s Organ Trouble

Posted on October 23, 2012 by twitmericks

An ex-Mirror editor, Piers/ Has been a bit naughty, one hears/ It’s alleged that his organ/ Hacked phones under Morgan/ I fear it’ll all end in tears. ///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-20036822

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