Women in Glove

Posted on August 9, 2012 by twitmericks

Nicola Adams of Britain/

Is handy at throwing a mitten/

The boxer from Leeds/

Secured thru her deeds/

The first women’s medal for hittin’.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/olympics/18913924

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Randy Pissed and Naked

Posted on August 9, 2012 by twitmericks

There was an old singer named Randy/

Who drove on an excess of brandy/

Discovered undressed/

He resisted arrest/

And swore he was just fine & dandy.

///

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-19188330

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Lawyer Wins Hand Over Fist

Posted on August 8, 2012 by twitmericks

There once was a man of the law/

Who was tried over porn police saw/

But the jury said no/

Let the fisting guy go/

Comprehending a manifest flaw.

///http://www.guardian.co.uk/law/2012/aug/08/extreme-porn-trial-simon-walsh?newsfeed=true

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Swervin Mervyn

Posted on August 8, 2012 by twitmericks

I know an old fellow named Mervyn/

Whose forecast for growth keeps on swervin/

It got worse today/

& for the UK/

The outlook is rather unnervin.

/// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-19174649

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Shitty Institution

Posted on August 7, 2012 by twitmericks

There is a big bank in the City/

With 10 billion less in the kitty/

Standard Chartered’s accused/

Of having abused/

Anti-laundering rules. What a pity.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-19159286

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Brownlee Bros

Posted on August 7, 2012 by twitmericks

A triathlon winner from Yorks/

Who swims, cycles runs & then walks/

Won a medal. His brother/

Collected another/

So Brownlees, get popping the corks!

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/olympics/18902984

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Kenny Do It? Yes ‘e Ken

Posted on August 6, 2012 by twitmericks

There once was a cyclist named Kenny/

Who won a gold medal & then ‘e/

Collected a second/

Till everyone reckoned/

Twas no longer if, but how many.

 

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Medal for Tweddle

Posted on August 6, 2012 by twitmericks

Team GB gymnast Beth Tweddle/

Has won an olympic bronze medal/

The woman from Cheshire/

Was grace under pressure/

Despite a lastminute back-pedal.

///http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/olympics/18908349

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A Wench named Mensch

Posted on August 6, 2012 by twitmericks

There was a young woman named Mensch/

Who abandoned the Tory backbench/

Some fellow MPs/

Will not miss Louise/

But Cameron may feel a wrench.

////

There was a young woman named Mensch/Who abandoned the Tory backbench/Some fellow MPs/Will not miss Louise/But Cameron may feel a wrench.

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Ben Ainslie – Been Sailin’

Posted on August 6, 2012 by twitmericks

There once was a sailor named Ben/

Who won the odd race now & then/

He pitched & he rolled/

& yet held on for gold/

To join GB’s all-time top 10.

////http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/olympics/19141290

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