Locked Up

Posted on October 11, 2011 by twitmericks

A former PM of Ukraine/Renowned for her well-tended mane/Her locks out of platinum/Worn up with a plait in ’em/In prison will have to remain.

http://in.reuters.com/article/2011/10/11/idINIndia-59828020111011

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Ship of Fuels

Posted on October 11, 2011 by twitmericks

In New Zealand, a stricken container/Ship stuck on a reef, MV Rena/Is causing some anger/Around Tauranga/As efforts continue to drain ‘er.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-15251319

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Blackberry Crumble

Posted on October 11, 2011 by twitmericks

Technology company RIM/Saw the lights on its system grow dim/#BB users grumbled/As #Blackberry crumbled/Right from Abu Dhabi to Zim.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2011/oct/10/blackberry-outage-affects-bbm-services?newsfeed=true

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Foresight Saga

Posted on October 10, 2011 by twitmericks

The #Nobel economy prize/Was awarded to 2 US guys/They may be quite smart/But when things fall apart/Seems economists share our surprise.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2011/10/10/bloomberg_articlesLSUS3D0UQVI9.DTL

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Diving Tackle

Posted on October 10, 2011 by twitmericks

Manu, English rugby’s great hope/Went off with some pals for a tope/He got a bit merry/And jumped off a ferry/So the RFU fined the big dope.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/rugby-player-tuilagi-fined-ferry-jump-022238821.html;_ylt=Ag.caNFwJ1ksRIO4Jat4h6a_fMl_;_ylu=X3oDMTNsdTNzMGlxBG1pdANUb3BTdG9yeSBGUARwa2cDZGI1MjBlN2QtMjZjZS0zNjgwLTk1YmEtOWU0ODZkOWZkZjU4BHBvcwMxBHNlYwN0b3Bfc3RvcnkEdmVyA2UxN2ZmODUwLWYzNDgtMTFlMC1iYWZiLTVlYTU0Y2NlYmZmMQ–;_ylg=X3oDMTFpYnVpbmRoBGludGwDZ2IEbGFuZwNlbi1nYgRwc3RhaWQDBHBzdGNhdANob21lBHB0A3NlY3Rpb25z;_ylv=3

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Twit Tweets

Posted on October 9, 2011 by twitmericks

Chris #Huhne MP’s feeling the heat/For he sent a DM as a tweet/Dishing dirt on Theresa/He’ll have to appease ‘er/& also placate Downing St.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/8816577/Chris-Huhne-apologises-to-Theresa-May-over-newspaper-tip-off.html

Shame it’s not possible to work in the whole story, which is priceless.
Huhne mistakenly sends an open tweet saying he doesn’t want his fingerprints on a story, then claims it’s a local press matter, and eventually has to admit he tipped off the papers that Theresa May lifted the undeportable cat part of her speech from UKIP’s Nigel Farage. Which reflects pretty badly on all concerned really!

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All You Need is Love?

Posted on October 9, 2011 by twitmericks

There was an old Beatle named Paul/Who wed in a local town hall/It wasn’t so fancy/& I hope he and Nancy/Said no presents folks, love is all.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/ticket-bride-macca-ties-knot-again-022314266.html

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Fox in Stocks

Posted on October 9, 2011 by twitmericks

A Defence Secretary named Liam/Was told to explain to the PM/Why a businessman chum/Just happens to come/Whenever someone goes to see ‘im.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/defence/8815864/Liam-Fox-I-have-nothing-to-hide-over-links-with-aide.html

 

Couldn’t resist another go at this one… the story’s not going away anyway. PM for Liam’s a slight stretch, you have to stress the first syllable to rhyme it, but I couldn’t resist it. Besides, two letters for two syllables is a great help in a 140-character limerick.

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Gory Story

Posted on October 8, 2011 by twitmericks

In España, a top matador/Received a bull’s horn through the jaw/Juan Jose Padilla/Is in pain quite severe/But Marques, the bull, is no more.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/bull-gores-spanish-matador-face-122426540.html

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Last Junkie

Posted on October 8, 2011 by twitmericks

 

Drug abuse in the UK/Is apparently fading away/As Brits turn their back/On narcotics like smack/Because heroin is so passé. 

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/oct/06/heroin-crack-cocaine-use-decline

*             *             *             *

A day or two behind the news curve, this one – the story about UK heroin use declining was in the Times on Thursday and the Guardian on Friday. But the revelation that Theresa May played out to the Dandy Warhols, not Primal Scream, made me think of “Not if you were the last Junkie on Earth”, and I realised that “because heroin is so passe” was a perfect limerick length (link below).

This limerick was so short I was able to tweet it with the hashtag #TweetALimerick that @prodnose (Danny Baker) started a couple of days ago, but I think I missed the wave on that one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mgjZK46_uw

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