Monthly Archives: January 2016

From Penn to the Pen

Posted on January 10, 2016 by twitmericks

A runaway drug cartel czar/ Did not get away very far;/ He’s back in the slammer/ In spite of the glamour/ Of meeting a Hollywood star./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-35276894 A runaway drug cartel czarDid not get away very far;He's back in the … Continue reading →

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Signature Penis

Posted on January 9, 2016 by twitmericks

A legal fight ended in failure/ For Jared of Melbourne Australia/ The issue was can cocks/ Be used as John Hancocks?/ The ruling is no genitalia./// http://mashable.com/2016/01/08/australian-man-penis-signature/#L9kw750cKsqs https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/685597432655298561

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Booze Taboos

Posted on January 8, 2016 by twitmericks

Advisers on alcohol think/ That every unit you sink/ Of beer, wine or whisky/ Is terribly risky/ (Of course they themselves never drink)./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-35255384 Advisers on alcohol thinkThat every unit you sinkOf beer wine or whiskyIs terribly risky(Of course they … Continue reading →

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Making Twitter Shitter

Posted on January 6, 2016 by twitmericks

The beauty of writing a tweet/ Comes down to its being petite/ 10,000 chars long/ Is quite simply wrong/ Like a poem with too many bloody feet*./// http://recode.net/2016/01/05/twitter-considering-10000-character-limit-for-tweets/ *As I’m sure you all realise, there are too many syllables in … Continue reading →

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Zid Just Got Real

Posted on January 5, 2016 by twitmericks

The bosses at Real Madrid/ Have opted for Zinedine Zid/ To be the new gaffer/ Replacing poor Rafa/ Of whom they abruptly got rid./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/35226296 The bosses at Real MadridHave opted for Zinedine ZidTo be the new gafferReplacing poor RafaOf … Continue reading →

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Pushing the Boundaries

Posted on January 4, 2016 by twitmericks

There was an all-rounder named Stokes/ Who played a succession of strokes/ To score 258/ At rapider rate/ Than previous cricketing blokes./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/35216886 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/684060796498894849

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Silly Sausage

Posted on January 3, 2016 by twitmericks

A chap’s in a Kyrgyzstan nick/ Because he was taking the mick./ To Michael McFeat/ The sausage they eat/ Was just like a stallion’s dick./// http://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/jan/03/british-worker-kyrgyzstan-gold-mine-held-horse-penis-delicacy-comparison https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/683723388024700928

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Beer Gut

Posted on January 1, 2016 by twitmericks

A breathalyzed woman denied/ Drink-driving when out for a ride./ What got her released/ Was showing how yeast/ Made cider inside ‘er inside./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-35206709 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/683029821962752000

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