Monthly Archives: January 2016

From Penn to the Pen

A runaway drug cartel czar/ Did not get away very far;/ He’s back in the slammer/ In spite of the glamour/ Of meeting a Hollywood star./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-35276894 A runaway drug cartel czar Did not get away very far; He's back in the … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Signature Penis

A legal fight ended in failure/ For Jared of Melbourne Australia/ The issue was can cocks/ Be used as John Hancocks?/ The ruling is no genitalia./// http://mashable.com/2016/01/08/australian-man-penis-signature/#L9kw750cKsqs https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/685597432655298561

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Booze Taboos

Advisers on alcohol think/ That every unit you sink/ Of beer, wine or whisky/ Is terribly risky/ (Of course they themselves never drink)./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-35255384 Advisers on alcohol think That every unit you sink Of beer wine or whisky Is terribly risky (Of course they … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Making Twitter Shitter

The beauty of writing a tweet/ Comes down to its being petite/ 10,000 chars long/ Is quite simply wrong/ Like a poem with too many bloody feet*./// http://recode.net/2016/01/05/twitter-considering-10000-character-limit-for-tweets/ *As I’m sure you all realise, there are too many syllables in … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Zid Just Got Real

The bosses at Real Madrid/ Have opted for Zinedine Zid/ To be the new gaffer/ Replacing poor Rafa/ Of whom they abruptly got rid./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/35226296 The bosses at Real Madrid Have opted for Zinedine Zid To be the new gaffer Replacing poor Rafa Of … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Pushing the Boundaries

There was an all-rounder named Stokes/ Who played a succession of strokes/ To score 258/ At rapider rate/ Than previous cricketing blokes./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/35216886 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/684060796498894849

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Silly Sausage

A chap’s in a Kyrgyzstan nick/ Because he was taking the mick./ To Michael McFeat/ The sausage they eat/ Was just like a stallion’s dick./// http://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/jan/03/british-worker-kyrgyzstan-gold-mine-held-horse-penis-delicacy-comparison https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/683723388024700928

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Beer Gut

A breathalyzed woman denied/ Drink-driving when out for a ride./ What got her released/ Was showing how yeast/ Made cider inside ‘er inside./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-35206709 https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/683029821962752000

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment