Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

A New Direction

Posted on March 25, 2015 by twitmericks

Zayn Malik has quit One Direction/ Engendering teenage dejection/ He’s leaving the stage/ So hold the front page/ And bugger the general election./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/32057401 Zayn Malik has quit One DirectionEngendering teenage dejectionHe's leaving the stageSo hold the front page& bugger … Continue reading →

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Candid Cameron?

Posted on March 25, 2015 by twitmericks

If Cameron wins, the PM/ Declares he will do it pro tem;/ When he’s had his day,/ George, Boris or May -/ He’ll pass on the baton to them./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-32037196 If Cameron wins, the PMDeclares he will do it pro … Continue reading →

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Know What Amin?

Posted on March 22, 2015 by twitmericks

A Tory chap standing in Dudley/ Was caught getting rather too cuddly/ With EDL leaders/ And frankly, dear readers/ His justification is muddly./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-32011321 A Tory chap standing in DudleyWas caught getting rather too cuddlyWith EDL leadersAnd frankly, dear readersHis … Continue reading →

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Sexed-up Exes

Posted on March 20, 2015 by twitmericks

A top UKIP hopeful in Kent/ Appears to have done something bent/ By eating her fill/ Then getting a bill/ For more than she actually spent./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-kent-31982168 A top UKIP hopeful in KentAppears to have done something bentBy eating her … Continue reading →

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Eclipse Eclipsed

Posted on March 20, 2015 by twitmericks

Here is the safest of tips/ On how to survive an eclipse/ Establish your base/ In some cloudy place/ The solar phenomenon skips./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/uk-weather-solar-eclipse-could-be-blocked-out-by-cold-front-over-the-country-10117383.html Here is the safest of tipsOn how to survive an eclipseEstablish your baseIn some cloudy placeThe … Continue reading →

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All Rise!

Posted on March 17, 2015 by twitmericks

Three prominent judges were sacked/ Because when their browsing was tracked/ The images seen/ Revealed they had been/ Accessories after The Act./// http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/three-judges-sacked-for-allegedly-viewing-porn-on-official-judiciary-computers-10113032.html Three prominent judges were sackedBecause when their browsing was trackedThe images seenRevealed they had beenAccessories after The … Continue reading →

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Shapps’s Lapse

Posted on March 16, 2015 by twitmericks

Conservative chairman Grant Shapps/ Has had to admit that perhaps/ Although he denied/ His job on the side/ He’d suffered a memory lapse./// http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2015/mar/16/grant-shapps-urged-to-quit-over-second-job-under-michael-green-pseudonym Conservative chairman Grant ShappsHas had to admit that perhapsAlthough he deniedHis job on the sideHe'd suffered … Continue reading →

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Organ Transplant

Posted on March 14, 2015 by twitmericks

A man with no penis who chose A transplant to get a new hose, When asked to assess The organ’s success Replied: “Well it comes and it goes”. A man with no penis who choseA transplant to get a new … Continue reading →

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They’ve Got To Give it Up

Posted on March 11, 2015 by twitmericks

The kids of the late Marvin Gaye/ Won out in a court in LA/ The jury concurred/ The lines were not blurred/ So Robin and Pharrell must pay./// http://www.theguardian.com/music/2015/mar/10/blurred-lines-pharrell-robin-thicke-copied-marvin-gaye The kids of the late Marvin GayeWon out in a court … Continue reading →

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Wheels Come Off Top Gear

Posted on March 11, 2015 by twitmericks

The BBC programme Top Gear/ Will not, as intended, appear/ Some new contravention/ Caused Clarkson’s suspension/ & may leave him out on his ear./// http://uk.reuters.com/article/2015/03/11/uk-britain-clarkson-suspension-idUKKBN0M61TR20150311 The BBC programme Top GearWill not, as intended, appearSome new contraventionCaused Clarkson's suspension& may leave … Continue reading →

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