Author Archives: twitmericks

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About twitmericks

There is an old fellow called Mick/Who's been penning the odd limerick/I admit he's no Keats/But he does them in tweets/So to follow, you just have to click. https://twitter.com/#!/twitmericks "The limerick master of the twitterati" (The Guardian).

No Shades of Grey in School

Posted on March 6, 2015 by twitmericks

A pupil who dressed for Book Day/ As character Christian Grey/ Found this was not cool/ For these days in school/ The cane is no longer OK./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-31760713 A pupil who dressed for Book DayAs character Christian GreyFound this was … Continue reading →

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I’m No Big Mass Debater, Says PM

Posted on March 5, 2015 by twitmericks

The UK Prime Minister said/ He wouldn’t debate head-to-head;/ Now Dave’s running scared/ He’ll be empty-chaired/ And Nick can do battle with Ed./// http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/11451072/David-Cameron-could-be-empty-chaired-in-TV-debates-as-Labour-accuse-him-of-running-scared.html The UK Prime Minister saidHe wouldn't debate head-to-head;Now Dave's running scaredHe'll be empty-chairedAnd Nick can do … Continue reading →

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The Long and Short of It

Posted on March 3, 2015 by twitmericks

Research shows the average dong/ Is 5.16 inches long/ When fully erect -/ They had to be checked/ As estimates sometimes prove wrong./// http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/mar/03/the-results-are-in-study-reveals-average-penis-size Research shows the average dongIs 5.16 inches longWhen fully erect –They had to be checkedAs estimates … Continue reading →

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LLAP then RIP

Posted on February 28, 2015 by twitmericks

Farewell Mr Nimoy, or Spock/ You’d many light years on the clock/ But now it is here/ The final frontier/ You lived long and prospered, old cock./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-31672543 Farewell Mr Nimoy, or SpockYou'd many light years on the clockBut now … Continue reading →

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Hue and Cry Over Dress

Posted on February 27, 2015 by twitmericks

A pic of a bicoloured dress/ Provoked a degree of distress/ For what was its hue?/ Gold & white? Black & blue?/ Like many, I couldn’t care less./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-highlands-islands-31656935 A pic of a bicoloured dressProvoked a degree of distressFor what … Continue reading →

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Llama Drama

Posted on February 27, 2015 by twitmericks

A curious beast is the llama;/ A pair of them caused quite a drama/ By breaching the peace/ And dodging police -/ Somebody call Barack Obama!/// http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/feb/26/escaped-llamas-arizona-lasso A curious beast is the llama;A pair of them caused quite a drama … Continue reading →

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Fallen Madonna

Posted on February 26, 2015 by twitmericks

The popular singer Madonna/ A Brit awards show guest of honour/ Fell arse over tit/ But Madge didn’t quit/ Though everyone thought her a goner./// http://www.theguardian.com/music/2015/feb/25/madonna-brings-the-2015-brit-awards-crashing-to-a-close The popular singer MadonnaA Brit awards show guest of honourFell arse over titBut Madge … Continue reading →

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Gerbil Reasoning

Posted on February 24, 2015 by twitmericks

The deadly bubonic disease/ Was carried to Europe by fleas/ From gerbils, not rats,/ According to stats/ Collected from rings on old trees./// http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-31588671 The deadly bubonic diseaseWas carried to Europe by fleasFrom gerbils, not rats,According to statsCollected from rings … Continue reading →

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The Last Straw

Posted on February 23, 2015 by twitmericks

Ex-ministers Rifkind and Straw/ Are seen as a lobbying draw./ For five grand a day/ They’ll help smooth the way,/ Or change a Ukrainian law./// http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2015/feb/23/jack-straw-malcolm-rifkind-deny-wrongdoing-cash-for-access-claims Ex-ministers Rifkind and StrawAre seen as a lobbying draw.For five grand a dayThey'll help … Continue reading →

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Racist Blues

Posted on February 22, 2015 by twitmericks

When Chelsea FC went to France/ Some fans made despicable chants/ Dealing with racism/ Urgently faces ’em -/ A boil that the club has to lance./// http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/feb/22/chelsea-fans-paris-metro-racism-identified-police When Chelsea FC went to FranceSome fans made despicable chantsDealing with racismUrgently faces … Continue reading →

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